many conversations recently. many thoughts, many ideas, many moments.

perhaps one of the most exciting moments has been the one on Saturday in which i bought my plane ticket to see sista hillary in nyc! "i can't wait" has rarely been so very true. july 14th, here i come.

more wonderful moments: i recently read surprised by hope by n.t. wright and there is still so much whispering, weaving, wandering about in my mind it that i find myself not entirely sure how to begin articulating my thoughts. so i'll give myself a bit more time and instead share some more well-prepared notions of others i've come across recently...each of these ideas and many more are shaping my thought life at the moment...

• Ending human trafficking is not idealistic or naive. It is audacious. And it is people of audacity who change the world. - Rob Morris, President and Co-Founder of Love146.
  
• Launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete. Then don’t worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ has said, in essence, “Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men. - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
  
• I believe that if we take justice, beauty and evangelism in terms of the anticipation of God's eventual setting to rights of the whole world, we will find that they dovetail together and in fact that they are all part of the same larger whole, which is the message of hope and new life that comes with the good news of Jesus' resurrection. - N.T. Wright, Surprised by Hope

mmm, mmm good.

frenzy.

i've been reading like crazy.

i finished "the time traveler's wife" while jared was out of town. it made me imagine that he wasn't on a business trip, he was time traveling and would come back to tell me about his adventure, or visiting me when i was 12, or something like that. it was kinda fun :). great book but just, well, be aware of adult content.

also read "at first sight" by nicholas sparks. the quality of the language/writing wasn't as impeccable as time traveler, but it was still a good read. definitely a surprise ending that many may not like, i'm not sure that i do. it was worth a try though.

now i'm starting "a voice in the wind" by francine rivers, the first of the "mark of the lion" series. i've been hearing left and right and up and down that i should read these books for about three years so, here i go!

we're heading to a colbie callait/john mayer concert tonight. really excited, here we go!

be cool.

to taste and to see.

i haven't really felt like posting while jared has been out of town. i have no idea what that means - i thought i would post a lot because of my extra alone time, which generally equals thought time, but this week (as so many others) hasn't gone exactly according to plan.

yesterday, for example, i went to my step class (i know, i know) not feeling well but we had a paper to turn in, so i went. we started doing step to some really dreadful techno beats and, well, in the end our music started skipping, the teacher couldn't find a new cd, and we did yoga instead! little weird things like that.

because of not feeling well, i missed my second class and a meeting, which is okay but being homebound without the hub was a little boring. its strange how quickly i've latched on to the idea of him being around so much - i love it, and i don't think its wrong at all, but it makes me think about us as people.

which makes me think about something i read in Tozer's The Pursuit of God this week. we are studying that book with our high school senior girls at church (some of my newest very favorite people), and this week we read chapter four called Apprehending God. In it, is a quote that says "[millions of Christians] go through life trying to love an ideal and be loyal to a mere principle." its so true. how often do i put God into a little picture frame in my mind (in which i constantly am changing the picture)? or how often do i compose a new law for myself?

so, how does this relate to my near instant jared-at-home-addiction? i long to know him! i am not content to merely have an idea in my head of who jared should be (who i could make him to be, who i imagine him to be, etc) , nor am i content to subscribe my life away to "a mere principle" - my idea of who i should be as a wife (my fantasies of being the perfect racheal ray/martha stewart/betty crocker combo - oh come on you have them too). no! in the depths of my soul, i want to know jared. i want to be as content in the unexpected as the expected. i want to find out what's really inside him, how he really thinks, feels. i want to support him 100% regardless of how i would have scripted every moment to turn out.

yet, i am frequently more than happy to do this with God??? yeah, i am.

(disclaimer: i am the antithesis of blogging to expose my extreme spirituality, awesomeness as a wife, etc. at least i hope i am. i am writing because it frees my soul in a way few things do and i think it brings God glory when He sees his kids experimenting, experiencing, and excited.)

my hope today is that i will see God as He is to the greatest extent that i can. my hope today is that i will recognize that i am, in the depths of my soul, no more content to hold onto an ideal of God than i would be an ideal of jared - yet i try to convince myself otherwise so often. my hope today is that i will rest in knowing that He will reveal Himself to those who love Him, and while resting to actively pursue a deeper communion with Him than i knew possible. my hope today is that i will not be content with an "ideal" or "mere principle" - but only with the Jesus who has brought me abundant life.

may the Kingdom of God be our "carefully chosen goal and the object of our holiest longing"
-Tozer.

a quiet day.

today, jared is at buffalo wild wings drafting his fantasy football team for the afternoon (don't judge).

so, i'm at home this afternoon enjoying some alone time that isn't consumed with homework or thoughts of what i 'should' be doing. its lovely. i started reading "the divine conspiracy" by dallas willard today, which wasn't on my list, i know, but i didn't realize we owned it and when i saw it on our bookshelf i remembered how wonderful i've heard it is and picked it up. i'm just at the very beginning of chapter one, but even the forward by richard foster and the introduction are extremely thought provoking and challenging. his goal is to help us recall, or discover, the real, touchable yet completely unlike us-ness of Christ. i'm excited to continue journeying with this book and, so far, encourage you to check it out some time.

enjoy your day and search for some healthy quiet this week.
sometimes i miss our wedding, so i thought i'd share a little more of it with you today through this picture. speaking of weddings, we went to one last night for our friends neal and rachel. it was beautiful, and for the recessional they had a slideshow full of pictures of other "happy ever afters" they know. this picture of ours made it!

wanting to read.

school is rather dominant presence in my life right now, but soon i will have a few weeks off between semesters and want to fill them with some good books :). i have a list already:

The Time Traveler's Wife (started on the honeymoon...still not finished. but its good!)
(^This title makes me think of The Memory Keeper's Daughter - read it!^)
The Mark of the Lion series - Francine Rivers
The Cost of Discipleship - Bonhoeffer
A Circle of Quiet - Madeline L'Engle

Not that those won't keep me busy for a while, but I'd love more suggestions!

Enjoy your day and these flowers from a beautiful Irish garden I visited last summer.



beautiful things that spring from these rows....

...with their musical names and musical sounds..." - eisley.
















don't forget to play a little today.