Wednesday, March 3, 2010

the Lord is my shepherd.

i've been extremely hesitant to blog recently. there's a lot going on...a lot which could end up being nothing...but a lot for now. i don't want this blog to become a diatribe about the hard things in my life, but the Lord is teaching me a lot about how my circumstances don't need to be a reason to hide in a corner, but rather, when viewed correctly, they become a megaphone for proclaiming how good the Lord is to me...and therefore how good He is at all times, to all people. i'm not upset about what is going on in my life. please hear that before you read further. i have moments where things feel overwhelming, and i have times when i think about how simple things were before life started to spiral...but then i remember that neither of those things are true. i am not overwhelmed, for God is a shield about me. i am not being removed from the simple beauties of my 'previous' life, for God is the giver of all good things. those are the truths that i honestly believe.

let that be the lens for the rest of this post...

a few months ago, my gynocologist suggested that i have some bloodwork done on my thyroid levels, as there seemed to be a nodule on the left side of my thyroid. i had the bloodwork done and all my levels came back normal, but the general practitioner i saw (who sees DTS students for about a blessing) suggested that i have an ultrasound done on the nodule to discover the size, as it seemed kind of large. the ultrasound revealed that the nodule was 3.4 centimeters, and anything over 1 centimeter is strongly recommended to undergo a biopsy. so, i made an appointment with an endocrinologist who did the biopsy and called me a week later with some pretty surprising news.

we all knew that the chances this nodule represented cancer were 3/100, so no one was really all that concerned. well, turns out statistics don't always mean what we'd hope they do, and my doctor's phone call informed us of that. she said that her best diagnosis at this point is Follicular Thyroid Cancer. i know," cancer," the word practically makes us want to come out of our skin and run for the hills. BUT, while this type of thyroid cancer is less common and more aggressive than most types of thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer as a whole is absolutely the cancer you would want to choose if you had a line-up of cancers you had to pick from. it is usually treatable simply by removing the nodule, which will be happening for me in the next few weeks after a consultation with a neck surgeon tomorrow. if that doesn't remove it all, i'll undergo a treatment called Radioactive Iodine which is much less intense than it sounds. our prayer is that the cancer has not spread anywhere else, if it hasn't, this will probably all be over this time next month. if it has, God is still God, still good, and still the giver of all good things. we are not afraid.

the Lord has surrounded us with his peace and his people in the past few days. we've received countless text messages, emails, phone calls, and knocks on our door - each one strengthening our hearts and minds. i'm going to be using a lot of nutrional, natural methods to strengthen my immune systems and fight this (probable) cancer, and friends who eat gluten-free and vegan have been coming out of the woodwork. my Mom connected me with a nutritionist (who said I should still eat a little meat - my husband probably wants to fly down to Houston and hug him right now) and is assisting me beyond measure in understanding how my body naturally works and what i can do to restore my health if that's God's plan for me. though things are crazy at times and life looks so different than just a week ago, there hasn't been a moment where i couldn't say that God wasn't providing above and beyond our wildest dreams, exactly as He promised He would. friends and family have blessed us with finances, flowers, food, and sweeter moments of fellowship than we have perhaps ever known. this is all worth it. watching the body of Christ surround its members in need is one of the sweetest things i have ever seen. our hearts rejoice in knowing that we are loved.

how fitting that it's 3/3 and the verse resounding in my head is psalm 3:3. "but You, oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory and the lifter of my head."

i'll keep you posted (what a silly pun). please pray for continued peace, strength, wisdom, and discernment, and above all thay Jared's and my hearts would be woven closer together and closer to the Lord...whatever it takes for those two things to happen is beyond worth it in our book. God is good, truly good, and those words mean more to me now than i ever knew they could.