we are all human

This weekend, I participated in a twitter campaign through We Are All Human, a project started by fans of Bethany Joy Galeotti. We Are All Human is seeking to raise funds for Love146, a non-profit organization that has been close to my heart for a few years now. Love146 fights for "Abolition and Restoration! [They] combat child sex slavery & exploitation with the unexpected and restore survivors with excellence." The statistics regarding human trafficking and child slavery are staggering, but the modern day abolitionists at Love146 are choosing to fight back rather than shake their heads at a crisis that, to many, seems too big to conquer. My heart feels like it's going to leap right out of my chest every time I talk or write about this organization, including last night when I composed 210 tweets until 11:59pm (which would have been at least 212 by midnight if Twitter hadn't said "wow, that's enough" and shut me down!) with the hashtag "WeAreAllHuman" since each tweet with that hashtag would motivate some extremely generous donors to send another ten cents Love146's way. The twitter campaign raised $1870 and the donors decided to "round up" to $2000! The money will specifically benefit the Round Home that Love146 has constructed, a "safehome... designed to facilitate the restoration and holistic health of every child entering its doors." The home, true to its name, is physically round - no rough edges, no dark corners, no hidden isolation. Little girls are given a place to be little girls again.

I'm so glad that I got to be a part of We Are All Human's mission, which, by the way, doesn't stop now! The goal is to raise $10,000 by December 31st through Crowd Rise. As of now, $7,098 has been raised (including the $2000 from last night). I don't need to give a sales pitch, Love146 speaks for itself.

I'm also so glad that I got to be a part of using Twitter for good. I recently read an article by Mark Driscoll about receiving, redeeming and rejecting various aspects of our culture, and while I don't think Twitter is inherently bad or good, I think it was absolutely redeemed for something incredibly beautiful last night.

Christ has purchased us out of slavery - praise Him for the chance to be a part of the great, Triune work of ultimate redemption.

"Good tidings of great joy" indeed!

calm down, sister.

i allow blogging to make me way too uptight.

my life has been a continuous trial and error experiment of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, the wrong thing at the right time, the right thing at the wrong time, and, occasionally, the right thing at the right time (you'll notice that the above equation results in a one in four success rate, hence the nervousness to blog). in attempts to speak in truth and kindness, with love and meaning, i've realized that for some seasons of my life, i'll simply have to be quiet. however, i'm also realizing that sometimes dreaming out loud can be truthful, kind, loving, meaningful. i'm also realizing that my words don't have to be perfect or my line of thinking completely refined (as though it ever could be) in order for others to benefit from it. so, off i go...

what fun it would be to:
record an audio book
sing and play a song or two in a studio with my universally talented husband
have a house with a room that has song lyrics, verses, and poem stanzas written on the walls

that's all.

perhaps, someday.

in the light.

i've been captivated//haunted by 1 john recently...

now this is the gospel message we have heard from him and announce to you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. if we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking in the darkness, we are lying and not practicing the truth. but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. if we say we do not bear the guilt of sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness. if we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. 1john1:5-10

"no darkness at all"
((our God is not a God of shifting shadows, hidden corners, clouded secrets))

((indeed, you are my lamp, Lord. the Lord illumines the darkness around me - 2sam22:29))

((light enables the eyes to see clearly, to perceive shape, color, form, dimension))

((darkness veils, light reveals truth))

"if we say we have not sinned...his word is not in us."

((how backwards from the way i often think, embracing the delusion that i can hide my sin and try to fix it myself. yet refusing to acknowledge my sin as sin means his word is not in me...))
 
"walk in the light"

((imagine: the room of my heart - dark, several light switches on the wall. reading the Word - a light switch flickers on. embracing community - a second follows suit. praying, aligning my heart with God's - a third switch suddenly points upward. serving, loving, hoping, kingdom living...light cannot help but fill the room. sin can hardly find a dark corner or crack in the wall to enter by, and should it somehow break through, it is quickly overwhelmed by the light.))

walk in the light. have fellowship. confess. 

for He is faithful and righteous to forgive.

collage.

hillaryanne. matesofstate. jerseyboys. gonetogovernors//bushmills//converse. museumofmodernart. timessquare. 90,000sqftforever21. brooklynbridge. thecenterforbookarts. food. thefryingpan. stardustdiner. cowgirl. nyu. thestandardgrill. thehighline. meatpackingdistrict. chelseamarkets. centralpark. 

more pics to come!

mates of state.

saw this beautiful//talented//ethereal couple perform for the second time in brooklyn with hillaryanne last week. you think i'm kidding when i say there aren't words to describe how phenomenal they are live, but, well, i'm not. enjoy.

nyc.

13 days till nyc with hillary!
13 years old was i (ok, so i wanted the 13s to line up and had to comprise my impeccable grammar in order to do so) when i played the part of "star to be" in the musical annie. star to be was a character who had just arrived in nyc, having every intention of making it on broadway. while i'm not hopping on a plane for exactly the same reasons, i'm pretty sure that i'm just as excited!



(head to minute 3:50 for the glory that is star to be.)

i absolutely can't wait to see my sister in her new element which she has embraced with such confidence, excitement, and maturity. my little (5'11) baby is growing up!

many conversations recently. many thoughts, many ideas, many moments.

perhaps one of the most exciting moments has been the one on Saturday in which i bought my plane ticket to see sista hillary in nyc! "i can't wait" has rarely been so very true. july 14th, here i come.

more wonderful moments: i recently read surprised by hope by n.t. wright and there is still so much whispering, weaving, wandering about in my mind it that i find myself not entirely sure how to begin articulating my thoughts. so i'll give myself a bit more time and instead share some more well-prepared notions of others i've come across recently...each of these ideas and many more are shaping my thought life at the moment...

• Ending human trafficking is not idealistic or naive. It is audacious. And it is people of audacity who change the world. - Rob Morris, President and Co-Founder of Love146.
  
• Launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete. Then don’t worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ has said, in essence, “Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men. - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
  
• I believe that if we take justice, beauty and evangelism in terms of the anticipation of God's eventual setting to rights of the whole world, we will find that they dovetail together and in fact that they are all part of the same larger whole, which is the message of hope and new life that comes with the good news of Jesus' resurrection. - N.T. Wright, Surprised by Hope

mmm, mmm good.

recladding: the good, the bad, the early.

it's no secret to those who know me well that i am quite the sleeper. napper, not so much, but 8 hours at night is almost always a minimum requirement for me. God has been extremely kind to this little "need' in my life by giving me a job that starts at 9am and is 8 minutes (walk down the hall, elevator ride, and car hunting in the apartment parking lot included) from my apartment. so, to get everything out in the open, i'll inform the three of you who will read this that many a morning i am awake for less than an hour before arriving at work, oftentimes getting out of bed between 8-8:15.

try to keep your hatred to a minimum so you can keep reading.

a few months ago, our apartment complex informed us that they would be "recladding" the building, which for those of you who are like me (i.e. intentionally avoiding any jargon which refers to topics such as building, architecture, or construction of any kind), means the building is being re-bricked and floors 4-10 will be receiving new windows. we live on the 4th floor, a.k.a. the start space on the proverbial monopoly board of project "let's make the swiss tower residents a little crazier as if seminary wasn't already contributing enough to that end" (at least that's what i would have named it had my opinion been solicited). so, falling dutifully in line with julie andrews' lyrical instructions, they've started "at the very beginning (a.k.a. floor four), it's a very good (debatable) place to start." 

now that's all well and good when we're speaking in the proverbial, the big picture, lyrical, the end result even. i'm thrilled that we'll have new windows as the insulation on the old ones was rather sub par. but as the great rapper of my high school days so poetically phrased it, it's time to "snap back to reality" and think about what this means for the here and now.

what does all of this really mean? well, i'll tell you.

it means jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.
it means jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.
it mean jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.
it means jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.

(by the way, the number of words you can effectively emphasize in a sentence is directly related, in most cases, to the validity and atrocity of your statement. the above statement is hereby declared valid and atrocious.)

this morning it was so loud and causing so much movement that the christmas decorations fell off the shelf in our closet. my sparkly mailbox ornament was broken. maybe i should open my bedroom window and see if the men with the jackhammers would like to try to fix it.

again, let me say that i am thrilled about the new windows. i am thankful that they started on our side of the building rather than the courtyard, leaving the pool accessible for the summer.

all i'm trying to say is, those thoughts are not the ones running through my head at seven o'clock in the morning.

and that is the end of my story.

monday fun-day #4 - lighthearted loves.

yum.

fabulous book. fabulous author. 

agenda-free? no. incredible writing? yes.

can't get enough of these tunes.

pure and undefiled religion.

As a class assignment, I responded to the following verses with the journal entry below:

It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;

who conducts his affairs with justice.

For the righteous will never be moved;

he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news;

his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,

until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.

He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor;

his righteousness endures forever;

his horn is exalted in honor.

Psalm 112:5-9

Caring for the poor and needy in all things has weighed heavily on my mind recently. Jesus was so incredibly connected with the true needs of the people around him, whether they were the poor in spirit, finances, or both, and I long to have the same compassion and desire to show them Who can meet their deepest spiritual need as well as personally stepping up to help meet their practical needs. These verses describe exactly who I have been praying to be recently – fearless in the face of bad news, for I know the Lord is worthy of my trust. Steady and triumphant, for I know the Lord is my strength. Distributing freely, giving to the poor, for I know that the Lord is my provider and I do not need to store up riches for myself. Jared and I are joining with another couple whom we love dearly to minister to a family of refugees soon to move into an apartment complex nearby which is indwelt entirely by refugees, mostly from Burma and Iraq. I pray that the Lord will continue growing our hearts in the way these verses describe, that we may freely give in every way the Lord brings to mind, and that above all we may be reflections of the steady hearts the Lord has placed in those who hold fast to His name.

Take 5 minutes to consider and pray for those who are poor and in need today.

 

the trafficked. the sick. the homeless and hungry.

 

...why wouldn't you?

monday fun-day #3.

full body scan = all clear.
cancer = taken care of for now.
life = maintenance and moving on.

the Lord is good! cancer free sounds pretty monday fun-day worthy to me :).

Fun-day Monday Post #2

Today we have a guest poster...it's the hubby!

I just would like to say that I appreciate this opportunity. Not only have I been invited to be a guest poster on the wesingwedance blog, but I have been invited for a Monday Fun-day post. This might be one of the most significant invites in my life.


I'm not a writer by trade. So this will not be as polished as Abby's posts and for that I apologize.


Each and everyone of us have experienced what I would like to talk about today. We all have had the moment. Some of us where studying at a library for an upcoming test. Others were on a road-trip with friends on a wonderfully beautiful day. Invariably, we find ourselves shifting through our iPods, iTunes, and, for those kickin it old school, our CD collections to find the perfect tune to capture that moment in our existence.

I love that moment.

I love being in the car with Abby on a sunny day, driving to College Station, and finding that perfect song. I love the rhythm that comes with music, no matter what the mood or environment. I love that in that moment when the first chord is played, something inside of me breathes a little deeper.

So, for my Monday Fun-day post....here's to finding rhythm

radioactive week.

well, my friends, stay far, far away because i am hereby radioactive for the next 5 days. as in stay six feet away from people...

eat jolly ranchers to save my salivary glands (yeah, i don't know.)...
wear plastic gloves....

and saran wrap my phone and keyboard...

all out radioactive. isn't that...freakish? i know. i'm quite aware of it at the moment.

so, here i sit, computer in my lap, jared and dad across the room talking about the differences between various systems of theology, considering my options for the evening (as in which book or tv show...or even combination! i know, riveting). i don't feel sick which is great, just tired but free to be i suppose as i'll be isolated to our apartment for 5 days.

you hem me in, behind and before.

the radioactive iodine treatment is set for this monday, the 12th, at 8:30am. i'll be in the hospital for a few hours then come home and hibernate for pretty much the rest of the week. i'm really grateful that it's time for the next step - yesterday and today have been really difficult if i'm being completely honest. i slept for 13 hours last night, worked for 4 hours today, and could easily go take a nap for a few hours. my body just has no pace-making abilities right now so its reaction is to keep no pace at all. it's hard but the Lord has continued to make himself extremely evident to me through Jared, our families, our friends, and His Word. the light at the end of the tunnel is growing brighter and brighter, and though we know more tunnels are likely to come throughout our lives, that light will never fade away.

my soul finds rest in God alone.

monday fun-day #1.

how timely that i would post this right after DUKE WON THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

two weekends ago, while I was at the Dallas Farmers Market and a little grocery store (aka my new favorite place) called Newflower with a friend, i looked down at my phone and saw that he had texted and called me what i'm pretty sure was a combination of five times. i looked at the texts and lo and behold, we might as well have won a million dollars because jared's parents had tickets to the duke game in houston and they were ours for the taking if we wanted them. at first jared was going to go by himself, then with a friend, then i finally just said oh what the heck and we were in the car headed to a rental car place because jared's parents are awesome and wanted to rent us a car for the trip ten minutes later! that was saturday, and sunday afternoon after some fun times with Jared's family we were headed to the duke/baylor game.

jared's middle brother, lance, and his girlfriend, britta met jared's dad and youngest brother, grant, and us in the parking lot looking like avatars.......and we soon followed suit (though perhaps not as...intensely):

jared and i then headed to our seats with jared's dad (lance, britta, and grant were in another section) and we had a great time, complete with hot dogs (yes i am eating healthy for the most part but you have to eat hot dogs at sporting events. it's like a rule in my head, and one that i quite like.).

so, thank you perrys for giving us an incredible, unexpected, fun weekend - what a perfect escape :). and what an easy first monday fun-day post!

rough start.

aaaand i forgot all about monday fun-day. oops.

it may make an appearance later today, or i may just wait till next week.

teaser:

more to come...

health update: follicular thyroid cancer was confirmed after my first surgery and my entire thyroid and the lymph nodes surrounding it were removed in a second surgery about 10 days ago. now we're waiting for my thyroid levels to be low enough so that i can do the radiation and then (hallelujah) get on some thyroid medication (i'm really interested in doing natural thyroid as opposed to synthroid - anyone out there familiar with it?) and level out again.

enough with that craziness.

per the request of my sister, hillary, and my own desire to blog more often, this monday will begin the first in a series of "monday fun-day" posts, which will most likely be a compilation of whatever fun things have been on my mind whether it be new music, clothes, places i'd like to go, recipes, whatever - basically it's a way to guarantee myself that i'll post and kinda get me back in the writing groove :). we'll see.

lots of love.

the Lord is my shepherd.

i've been extremely hesitant to blog recently. there's a lot going on...a lot which could end up being nothing...but a lot for now. i don't want this blog to become a diatribe about the hard things in my life, but the Lord is teaching me a lot about how my circumstances don't need to be a reason to hide in a corner, but rather, when viewed correctly, they become a megaphone for proclaiming how good the Lord is to me...and therefore how good He is at all times, to all people. i'm not upset about what is going on in my life. please hear that before you read further. i have moments where things feel overwhelming, and i have times when i think about how simple things were before life started to spiral...but then i remember that neither of those things are true. i am not overwhelmed, for God is a shield about me. i am not being removed from the simple beauties of my 'previous' life, for God is the giver of all good things. those are the truths that i honestly believe.

let that be the lens for the rest of this post...

a few months ago, my gynocologist suggested that i have some bloodwork done on my thyroid levels, as there seemed to be a nodule on the left side of my thyroid. i had the bloodwork done and all my levels came back normal, but the general practitioner i saw (who sees DTS students for free...talk about a blessing) suggested that i have an ultrasound done on the nodule to discover the size, as it seemed kind of large. the ultrasound revealed that the nodule was 3.4 centimeters, and anything over 1 centimeter is strongly recommended to undergo a biopsy. so, i made an appointment with an endocrinologist who did the biopsy and called me a week later with some pretty surprising news.

we all knew that the chances this nodule represented cancer were 3/100, so no one was really all that concerned. well, turns out statistics don't always mean what we'd hope they do, and my doctor's phone call informed us of that. she said that her best diagnosis at this point is Follicular Thyroid Cancer. i know," cancer," the word practically makes us want to come out of our skin and run for the hills. BUT, while this type of thyroid cancer is less common and more aggressive than most types of thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer as a whole is absolutely the cancer you would want to choose if you had a line-up of cancers you had to pick from. it is usually treatable simply by removing the nodule, which will be happening for me in the next few weeks after a consultation with a neck surgeon tomorrow. if that doesn't remove it all, i'll undergo a treatment called Radioactive Iodine which is much less intense than it sounds. our prayer is that the cancer has not spread anywhere else, if it hasn't, this will probably all be over this time next month. if it has, God is still God, still good, and still the giver of all good things. we are not afraid.

the Lord has surrounded us with his peace and his people in the past few days. we've received countless text messages, emails, phone calls, and knocks on our door - each one strengthening our hearts and minds. i'm going to be using a lot of nutrional, natural methods to strengthen my immune systems and fight this (probable) cancer, and friends who eat gluten-free and vegan have been coming out of the woodwork. my Mom connected me with a nutritionist (who said I should still eat a little meat - my husband probably wants to fly down to Houston and hug him right now) and is assisting me beyond measure in understanding how my body naturally works and what i can do to restore my health if that's God's plan for me. though things are crazy at times and life looks so different than just a week ago, there hasn't been a moment where i couldn't say that God wasn't providing above and beyond our wildest dreams, exactly as He promised He would. friends and family have blessed us with finances, flowers, food, and sweeter moments of fellowship than we have perhaps ever known. this is all worth it. watching the body of Christ surround its members in need is one of the sweetest things i have ever seen. our hearts rejoice in knowing that we are loved.

how fitting that it's 3/3 and the verse resounding in my head is psalm 3:3. "but You, oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory and the lifter of my head."

i'll keep you posted (what a silly pun). please pray for continued peace, strength, wisdom, and discernment, and above all thay Jared's and my hearts would be woven closer together and closer to the Lord...whatever it takes for those two things to happen is beyond worth it in our book. God is good, truly good, and those words mean more to me now than i ever knew they could.

psalm 16:5-11

Lord, you give me stability and prosperity;
you make my future secure.
It is as if I have been given fertile fields
or received a beautiful tract of land.
I will praise the Lord who guides me;
yes, during the night I reflect and learn.
I constantly trust in the Lord;
because he is at my right hand, I will not be upended.
So my heart rejoices and I am happy
My life is safe.
You will not abandon me to Sheol;
you will not allow your faithful follower to see the Pit.
You lead me in the path of life;
I experience absolute joy in your presence;
you always give me sheer delight.

inspired.

Jared and I just returned from an evening of Office watching and conversation with fun, deeply-thinking, God-loving friends. The guys, as they've been known to do, split off rather quickly to talk about their classes, theology, and whatever modalism is, and us ladies found our conversation drifting toward the newest big thing, the iPad. The discussion of Apple's newest creative venture eventually rabbit trailed into thoughts on how technology is influencing the communication, language, and relationships of today. We knew we weren't the first people to ever think of this issue, but as women who hope to be mothers someday and who value face to face interaction, deep community, closeness, and showing others who Jesus is through action...we found ourselves with quite a bit to say.
For example, texting is great. I love texting. Texting gets things accomplished and allows for information to be communicated without much trouble at all. Fabulous. I'm all about information and making plans and saying a quick hello. I've definitely been known to even have a texting conversation in my day, but that's where we thought things started to get a little hazy. Why not pick up the phone, or even send an email (something that at least has a distant reference to a thought out letter)?
And what about when we have kids? What about when our kids start feeling the pressure and need to feel connected? How will we help them form meaningful friendships, even mentorships, even if it's just a few? How do we teach the value that comes from depth and not just width? Come to think of it, how do we help ourselves believe in it?
I don't think texting or emailing or whatever else by default keeps people from having deep relationships. But I constantly notice with myself a need to feel connected and informed, and all too often I attempt to fill that need with facebook or a surface level text message. Why not pick up the phone and have a conversation? I have time. We all have time at some point. So, I suppose the question is, how are we spending it? What do we cherish and value? Relationships touch souls, and souls last forever. I just want to be sure I'm treasuring the souls in my life, not just surface level information.
One of my friends tonight said we're going to look up one day and realize that we're the most connected people in the world, yet also the loneliest. Lets find ways to make sure that's not the case, for the sake of Jesus Christ, the community He cherishes, and the generations He may allow us to touch.

girlified.

i thought the blog could use a little face lift. i'm hoping that the same theory of buying new clothes and therefore wanting to dress up more often will apply here. new look, new posts. we'll see...

"deep ocean, vast sea"

honest, i really do want to blog more.

even more honest, there's so much and so little somehow going on at the same time these days that i get a little shaky everytime i think about trying to put a pen to paper (finger to keyboard?).

i've been thinking on so many levels recently. i realize that could sound arrogant, but that's definitely not what i mean. what i mean is, there are days where watching a tv show feels like the highest intellectual endeavor i could possibly pursue, and others when seminary and all its offerings are entirely compelling and enticing. there are days when i go to bed wondering if i've had a single original thought, and days when i'd give up eating macaroni and cheese for a year (yes, that would be a huge deal) if i could just will my brain to slow down.

this probably all sounds like i'm not peaceful these days...like i'm extremely stressed or tired or unbalanced. but to be perfectly honest, i think this may be just right. every day is different in a way, and exactly the same in others. same home, same job, same faith, same love of my life to wake up next to, yet new thoughts, new understandings, even new beliefs some days. perhaps this is what growing up looks like. if so, i think we'll all be okay.

(blog/song title - "deep ocean, vast sea" by peter murphy)