"deep ocean, vast sea"

honest, i really do want to blog more.

even more honest, there's so much and so little somehow going on at the same time these days that i get a little shaky everytime i think about trying to put a pen to paper (finger to keyboard?).

i've been thinking on so many levels recently. i realize that could sound arrogant, but that's definitely not what i mean. what i mean is, there are days where watching a tv show feels like the highest intellectual endeavor i could possibly pursue, and others when seminary and all its offerings are entirely compelling and enticing. there are days when i go to bed wondering if i've had a single original thought, and days when i'd give up eating macaroni and cheese for a year (yes, that would be a huge deal) if i could just will my brain to slow down.

this probably all sounds like i'm not peaceful these days...like i'm extremely stressed or tired or unbalanced. but to be perfectly honest, i think this may be just right. every day is different in a way, and exactly the same in others. same home, same job, same faith, same love of my life to wake up next to, yet new thoughts, new understandings, even new beliefs some days. perhaps this is what growing up looks like. if so, i think we'll all be okay.

(blog/song title - "deep ocean, vast sea" by peter murphy)