the eyes of my heart enlightened.

I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction,
out of the miry clay;
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
And He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear, And will trust in the LORD.
How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.
Psalm 40:1-4

How sweet is the "new song" in my mouth recently.

For me, college has been a time of great wonder, joy, and excitement. It has also been a time of great searching, confusion, and, at times, the lowest points of my life thus far. I have struggled with Who God is, struggled with struggling with Who God is, and struggled with trying to read, pray, and talk through struggling with Who God is. I can't say I have always been patient in the struggle, as the verses above can claim, but I can say I have had a Jesus Who has refused to let me go and, for some reason, has chosen this past week to...as words pitifully attempt to describe...burst through several clouds in my mind this past week.

There really is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Really.
My attempts to "be like Jesus" are exceptionally futile if I am not relying fully on the power of Christ.
The Bible is a story about God - and when I am enabled to view it that way....freedom.
(I have said all of these things before and I can't really explain how true and real they are now resonating inside me. I think something has transferred from my head to my heart....)

"I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation,
but I bought the lie I still have work to do.
Now I'm working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation,
but there is no condemnation in You.

...child, you're forgiven and loved."
- Jimmy Needham

OH! I am forgiven and loved. How many times have these words emerged from my mouth? How many times have a prayed with a minuscule dab of faith that maybe they could be true for me? Now I know.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a dear friend, who has experienced many of the same sweet characteristics of the Lord as well. We were able to truly rejoice in His goodness and find awe in the fact that the most, if anything, we ever really did was beg Him to draw near and rebuild whatever needed rebuilding. He cannot help but be faithful.

I pray you read this post for what it is. For joy and grace and the ever constant work of the Lord Jesus Christ in the hearts of His people, and even in those yet to be His. I pray you read this and see the greatness of Christ and are encouraged in your faith that He is always there, He really is always there. He is nothing like us, but we are a little like Him - and we can grow in that likeness every day by His mercy alone. Really, alone, you can not do it. Draw near to the presence of the Lord - He will draw near to you in His own sweet timing and purpose. I can promise you - I have tasted and seen and now I crave with all that I am..