our little corner of the world.

word of mouth.

2011-07-11T16:12:00.000-05:00

my dear college roommate, dondi, has started a darling blog/shop called Dondalee's. she is hosting a giveaway today which you can find here. enjoy!

just a little something.

2011-07-02T16:15:00.001-05:00

hmm.

seven months since my last post.

i'm not entirely convinced that i'm "back" in terms of blogging yet, but as i was brewing some java this morning, my little mug collection made me think of yellow songbird's "around the house" link up party today and i thought i'd participate.

the green and white emma mugs are from pottery barn and were a wedding gift given to jared and me (okay, mostly me). the "a" mug is from anthropologie (i can't even think about anthropologie without butterflies of happiness fluttering about inside me), but more importantly, from my sweet friend mrs. meredith martin espey who married her love, charlie, on june 17th. the lovely mug was part of our bridesmaid gift. meredith's wedding was so special to be a part of - the ceremony was sweet and sacred, and the reception was a true celebration. it was a lovely day altogether and i am thrilled that meredith and charlie's long distance days are over!

well, i'm off to figure out why my computer keeps changing my settings from "U.S." to "Spanish" or "Irish."

happy saturday!

we are all human

2010-12-13T10:20:00.001-06:00

This weekend, I participated in a twitter campaign through We Are All Human, a project started by fans of Bethany Joy Galeotti. We Are All Human is seeking to raise funds for Love146, a non-profit organization that has been close to my heart for a few years now. Love146 fights for "Abolition and Restoration! [They] combat child sex slavery & exploitation with the unexpected and restore survivors with excellence." The statistics regarding human trafficking and child slavery are staggering, but the modern day abolitionists at Love146 are choosing to fight back rather than shake their heads at a crisis that, to many, seems too big to conquer. My heart feels like it's going to leap right out of my chest every time I talk or write about this organization, including last night when I composed 210 tweets until 11:59pm (which would have been at least 212 by midnight if Twitter hadn't said "wow, that's enough" and shut me down!) with the hashtag "WeAreAllHuman" since each tweet with that hashtag would motivate some extremely generous donors to send another ten cents Love146's way. The twitter campaign raised $1870 and the donors decided to "round up" to $2000! The money will specifically benefit the Round Home that Love146 has constructed, a "safehome... designed to facilitate the restoration and holistic health of every child entering its doors." The home, true to its name, is physically round - no rough edges, no dark corners, no hidden isolation. Little girls are given a place to be little girls again.

I'm so glad that I got to be a part of We Are All Human's mission, which, by the way, doesn't stop now! The goal is to raise $10,000 by December 31st through Crowd Rise. As of now, $7,098 has been raised (including the $2000 from last night). I don't need to give a sales pitch, Love146 speaks for itself.

I'm also so glad that I got to be a part of using Twitter for good. I recently read an article by Mark Driscoll about receiving, redeeming and rejecting various aspects of our culture, and while I don't think Twitter is inherently bad or good, I think it was absolutely redeemed for something incredibly beautiful last night.

Christ has purchased us out of slavery - praise Him for the chance to be a part of the great, Triune work of ultimate redemption.

"Good tidings of great joy" indeed!

calm down, sister.

2010-11-16T17:10:00.000-06:00

i allow blogging to make me way too uptight.

my life has been a continuous trial and error experiment of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, the wrong thing at the right time, the right thing at the wrong time, and, occasionally, the right thing at the right time (you'll notice that the above equation results in a one in four success rate, hence the nervousness to blog). in attempts to speak in truth and kindness, with love and meaning, i've realized that for some seasons of my life, i'll simply have to be quiet. however, i'm also realizing that sometimes dreaming out loud can be truthful, kind, loving, meaningful. i'm also realizing that my words don't have to be perfect or my line of thinking completely refined (as though it ever could be) in order for others to benefit from it. so, off i go...

what fun it would be to:
record an audio book
sing and play a song or two in a studio with my universally talented husband
have a house with a room that has song lyrics, verses, and poem stanzas written on the walls

that's all.

perhaps, someday.

in the light.

2010-08-18T11:40:00.000-05:00

i've been captivated//haunted by 1 john recently...

now this is the gospel message we have heard from him and announce to you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. if we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking in the darkness, we are lying and not practicing the truth. but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. if we say we do not bear the guilt of sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness. if we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. 1john1:5-10

"no darkness at all"
((our God is not a God of shifting shadows, hidden corners, clouded secrets))

((indeed, you are my lamp, Lord. the Lord illumines the darkness around me - 2sam22:29))

((light enables the eyes to see clearly, to perceive shape, color, form, dimension))

((darkness veils, light reveals truth))

"if we say we have not sinned...his word is not in us."

((how backwards from the way i often think, embracing the delusion that i can hide my sin and try to fix it myself. yet refusing to acknowledge my sin as sin means his word is not in me...))

"walk in the light"

((imagine: the room of my heart - dark, several light switches on the wall. reading the Word - a light switch flickers on. embracing community - a second follows suit. praying, aligning my heart with God's - a third switch suddenly points upward. serving, loving, hoping, kingdom living...light cannot help but fill the room. sin can hardly find a dark corner or crack in the wall to enter by, and should it somehow break through, it is quickly overwhelmed by the light.))

walk in the light. have fellowship. confess.

for He is faithful and righteous to forgive.

collage.

2010-07-23T11:08:00.000-05:00

hillaryanne. matesofstate. jerseyboys. gonetogovernors//bushmills//converse. museumofmodernart. timessquare. 90,000sqftforever21. brooklynbridge. thecenterforbookarts. food. thefryingpan. stardustdiner. cowgirl. nyu. thestandardgrill. thehighline. meatpackingdistrict. chelseamarkets. centralpark.

more pics to come!

mates of state.

2010-07-22T13:56:00.000-05:00

saw this beautiful//talented//ethereal couple perform for the second time in brooklyn with hillaryanne last week. you think i'm kidding when i say there aren't words to describe how phenomenal they are live, but, well, i'm not. enjoy.

nyc.

2010-07-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

13 days till nyc with hillary!
13 years old was i (ok, so i wanted the 13s to line up and had to comprise my impeccable grammar in order to do so) when i played the part of "star to be" in the musical annie. star to be was a character who had just arrived in nyc, having every intention of making it on broadway. while i'm not hopping on a plane for exactly the same reasons, i'm pretty sure that i'm just as excited!

(head to minute 3:50 for the glory that is star to be.)

i absolutely can't wait to see my sister in her new element which she has embraced with such confidence, excitement, and maturity. my little (5'11) baby is growing up!

2010-06-22T21:09:00.002-05:00

many conversations recently. many thoughts, many ideas, many moments.

perhaps one of the most exciting moments has been the one on Saturday in which i bought my plane ticket to see sista hillary in nyc! "i can't wait" has rarely been so very true. july 14th, here i come.

more wonderful moments: i recently read surprised by hope by n.t. wright and there is still so much whispering, weaving, wandering about in my mind it that i find myself not entirely sure how to begin articulating my thoughts. so i'll give myself a bit more time and instead share some more well-prepared notions of others i've come across recently...each of these ideas and many more are shaping my thought life at the moment...

Ending human trafficking is not idealistic or naive. It is audacious. And it is people of audacity who change the world. - Rob Morris, President and Co-Founder of Love146.
Launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete. Then don’t worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ has said, in essence, “Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men. - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
I believe that if we take justice, beauty and evangelism in terms of the anticipation of God's eventual setting to rights of the whole world, we will find that they dovetail together and in fact that they are all part of the same larger whole, which is the message of hope and new life that comes with the good news of Jesus' resurrection. - N.T. Wright, Surprised by Hope

mmm, mmm good.

recladding: the good, the bad, the early.

2010-05-25T09:55:00.000-05:00

it's no secret to those who know me well that i am quite the sleeper. napper, not so much, but 8 hours at night is almost always a minimum requirement for me. God has been extremely kind to this little "need' in my life by giving me a job that starts at 9am and is 8 minutes (walk down the hall, elevator ride, and car hunting in the apartment parking lot included) from my apartment. so, to get everything out in the open, i'll inform the three of you who will read this that many a morning i am awake for less than an hour before arriving at work, oftentimes getting out of bed between 8-8:15.

try to keep your hatred to a minimum so you can keep reading.

a few months ago, our apartment complex informed us that they would be "recladding" the building, which for those of you who are like me (i.e. intentionally avoiding any jargon which refers to topics such as building, architecture, or construction of any kind), means the building is being re-bricked and floors 4-10 will be receiving new windows. we live on the 4th floor, a.k.a. the start space on the proverbial monopoly board of project "let's make the swiss tower residents a little crazier as if seminary wasn't already contributing enough to that end" (at least that's what i would have named it had my opinion been solicited). so, falling dutifully in line with julie andrews' lyrical instructions, they've started "at the very beginning (a.k.a. floor four), it's a very good (debatable) place to start."

now that's all well and good when we're speaking in the proverbial, the big picture, lyrical, the end result even. i'm thrilled that we'll have new windows as the insulation on the old ones was rather sub par. but as the great rapper of my high school days so poetically phrased it, it's time to "snap back to reality" and think about what this means for the here and now.

what does all of this really mean? well, i'll tell you.

it means jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.
it means jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.
it mean jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.
it means jackhammers outside my bedroom window at seven o'clock in the morning.

(by the way, the number of words you can effectively emphasize in a sentence is directly related, in most cases, to the validity and atrocity of your statement. the above statement is hereby declared valid and atrocious.)

this morning it was so loud and causing so much movement that the christmas decorations fell off the shelf in our closet. my sparkly mailbox ornament was broken. maybe i should open my bedroom window and see if the men with the jackhammers would like to try to fix it.

again, let me say that i am thrilled about the new windows. i am thankful that they started on our side of the building rather than the courtyard, leaving the pool accessible for the summer.

all i'm trying to say is, those thoughts are not the ones running through my head at seven o'clock in the morning.

and that is the end of my story.

monday fun-day #4 - lighthearted loves.

2010-04-26T23:04:00.000-05:00

yum.

fabulous book. fabulous author.

agenda-free? no. incredible writing? yes.

can't get enough of these tunes.

pure and undefiled religion.

2010-04-26T11:01:00.003-05:00

As a class assignment, I responded to the following verses with the journal entry below:

It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;

who conducts his affairs with justice.

For the righteous will never be moved;

he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news;

his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,

until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.

He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor;

his righteousness endures forever;

his horn is exalted in honor.

Psalm 112:5-9

Caring for the poor and needy in all things has weighed heavily on my mind recently. Jesus was so incredibly connected with the true needs of the people around him, whether they were the poor in spirit, finances, or both, and I long to have the same compassion and desire to show them Who can meet their deepest spiritual need as well as personally stepping up to help meet their practical needs. These verses describe exactly who I have been praying to be recently – fearless in the face of bad news, for I know the Lord is worthy of my trust. Steady and triumphant, for I know the Lord is my strength. Distributing freely, giving to the poor, for I know that the Lord is my provider and I do not need to store up riches for myself. Jared and I are joining with another couple whom we love dearly to minister to a family of refugees soon to move into an apartment complex nearby which is indwelt entirely by refugees, mostly from Burma and Iraq. I pray that the Lord will continue growing our hearts in the way these verses describe, that we may freely give in every way the Lord brings to mind, and that above all we may be reflections of the steady hearts the Lord has placed in those who hold fast to His name.

Take 5 minutes to consider and pray for those who are poor and in need today.

the trafficked. the sick. the homeless and hungry.

...why wouldn't you?

monday fun-day #3.

2010-04-19T22:51:00.001-05:00

full body scan = all clear.
cancer = taken care of for now.
life = maintenance and moving on.

the Lord is good! cancer free sounds pretty monday fun-day worthy to me :).

Fun-day Monday Post #2

2010-04-12T20:56:00.003-05:00

Today we have a guest poster...it's the hubby!

I just would like to say that I appreciate this opportunity. Not only have I been invited to be a guest poster on the wesingwedance blog, but I have been invited for a Monday Fun-day post. This might be one of the most significant invites in my life.

I'm not a writer by trade. So this will not be as polished as Abby's posts and for that I apologize.

Each and everyone of us have experienced what I would like to talk about today. We all have had the moment. Some of us where studying at a library for an upcoming test. Others were on a road-trip with friends on a wonderfully beautiful day. Invariably, we find ourselves shifting through our iPods, iTunes, and, for those kickin it old school, our CD collections to find the perfect tune to capture that moment in our existence.

I love that moment.

I love being in the car with Abby on a sunny day, driving to College Station, and finding that perfect song. I love the rhythm that comes with music, no matter what the mood or environment. I love that in that moment when the first chord is played, something inside of me breathes a little deeper.

So, for my Monday Fun-day post....here's to finding rhythm

radioactive week.

2010-04-12T16:09:00.009-05:00

well, my friends, stay far, far away because i am hereby radioactive for the next 5 days. as in stay six feet away from people...

eat jolly ranchers to save my salivary glands (yeah, i don't know.)...
wear plastic gloves....

and saran wrap my phone and keyboard...

all out radioactive. isn't that...freakish? i know. i'm quite aware of it at the moment.

so, here i sit, computer in my lap, jared and dad across the room talking about the differences between various systems of theology, considering my options for the evening (as in which book or tv show...or even combination! i know, riveting). i don't feel sick which is great, just tired but free to be i suppose as i'll be isolated to our apartment for 5 days.

you hem me in, behind and before.

2010-04-07T15:42:00.003-05:00

the radioactive iodine treatment is set for this monday, the 12th, at 8:30am. i'll be in the hospital for a few hours then come home and hibernate for pretty much the rest of the week. i'm really grateful that it's time for the next step - yesterday and today have been really difficult if i'm being completely honest. i slept for 13 hours last night, worked for 4 hours today, and could easily go take a nap for a few hours. my body just has no pace-making abilities right now so its reaction is to keep no pace at all. it's hard but the Lord has continued to make himself extremely evident to me through Jared, our families, our friends, and His Word. the light at the end of the tunnel is growing brighter and brighter, and though we know more tunnels are likely to come throughout our lives, that light will never fade away.

my soul finds rest in God alone.

monday fun-day #1.

2010-04-05T22:48:00.010-05:00

how timely that i would post this right after DUKE WON THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

two weekends ago, while I was at the Dallas Farmers Market and a little grocery store (aka my new favorite place) called Newflower with a friend, i looked down at my phone and saw that he had texted and called me what i'm pretty sure was a combination of five times. i looked at the texts and lo and behold, we might as well have won a million dollars because jared's parents had tickets to the duke game in houston and they were ours for the taking if we wanted them. at first jared was going to go by himself, then with a friend, then i finally just said oh what the heck and we were in the car headed to a rental car place because jared's parents are awesome and wanted to rent us a car for the trip ten minutes later! that was saturday, and sunday afternoon after some fun times with Jared's family we were headed to the duke/baylor game.

jared's middle brother, lance, and his girlfriend, britta met jared's dad and youngest brother, grant, and us in the parking lot looking like avatars.......and we soon followed suit (though perhaps not as...intensely):

jared and i then headed to our seats with jared's dad (lance, britta, and grant were in another section) and we had a great time, complete with hot dogs (yes i am eating healthy for the most part but you have to eat hot dogs at sporting events. it's like a rule in my head, and one that i quite like.).

so, thank you perrys for giving us an incredible, unexpected, fun weekend - what a perfect escape :). and what an easy first monday fun-day post!

rough start.

2010-03-30T12:12:00.003-05:00

aaaand i forgot all about monday fun-day. oops.

it may make an appearance later today, or i may just wait till next week.

teaser:

more to come...

2010-03-26T12:44:00.004-05:00

health update: follicular thyroid cancer was confirmed after my first surgery and my entire thyroid and the lymph nodes surrounding it were removed in a second surgery about 10 days ago. now we're waiting for my thyroid levels to be low enough so that i can do the radiation and then (hallelujah) get on some thyroid medication (i'm really interested in doing natural thyroid as opposed to synthroid - anyone out there familiar with it?) and level out again.

enough with that craziness.

per the request of my sister, hillary, and my own desire to blog more often, this monday will begin the first in a series of "monday fun-day" posts, which will most likely be a compilation of whatever fun things have been on my mind whether it be new music, clothes, places i'd like to go, recipes, whatever - basically it's a way to guarantee myself that i'll post and kinda get me back in the writing groove :). we'll see.

lots of love.

the Lord is my shepherd.

2010-03-03T11:06:00.010-06:00

i've been extremely hesitant to blog recently. there's a lot going on...a lot which could end up being nothing...but a lot for now. i don't want this blog to become a diatribe about the hard things in my life, but the Lord is teaching me a lot about how my circumstances don't need to be a reason to hide in a corner, but rather, when viewed correctly, they become a megaphone for proclaiming how good the Lord is to me...and therefore how good He is at all times, to all people. i'm not upset about what is going on in my life. please hear that before you read further. i have moments where things feel overwhelming, and i have times when i think about how simple things were before life started to spiral...but then i remember that neither of those things are true. i am not overwhelmed, for God is a shield about me. i am not being removed from the simple beauties of my 'previous' life, for God is the giver of all good things. those are the truths that i honestly believe.

let that be the lens for the rest of this post...

a few months ago, my gynocologist suggested that i have some bloodwork done on my thyroid levels, as there seemed to be a nodule on the left side of my thyroid. i had the bloodwork done and all my levels came back normal, but the general practitioner i saw (who sees DTS students for free...talk about a blessing) suggested that i have an ultrasound done on the nodule to discover the size, as it seemed kind of large. the ultrasound revealed that the nodule was 3.4 centimeters, and anything over 1 centimeter is strongly recommended to undergo a biopsy. so, i made an appointment with an endocrinologist who did the biopsy and called me a week later with some pretty surprising news.

we all knew that the chances this nodule represented cancer were 3/100, so no one was really all that concerned. well, turns out statistics don't always mean what we'd hope they do, and my doctor's phone call informed us of that. she said that her best diagnosis at this point is Follicular Thyroid Cancer. i know," cancer," the word practically makes us want to come out of our skin and run for the hills. BUT, while this type of thyroid cancer is less common and more aggressive than most types of thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer as a whole is absolutely the cancer you would want to choose if you had a line-up of cancers you had to pick from. it is usually treatable simply by removing the nodule, which will be happening for me in the next few weeks after a consultation with a neck surgeon tomorrow. if that doesn't remove it all, i'll undergo a treatment called Radioactive Iodine which is much less intense than it sounds. our prayer is that the cancer has not spread anywhere else, if it hasn't, this will probably all be over this time next month. if it has, God is still God, still good, and still the giver of all good things. we are not afraid.

the Lord has surrounded us with his peace and his people in the past few days. we've received countless text messages, emails, phone calls, and knocks on our door - each one strengthening our hearts and minds. i'm going to be using a lot of nutrional, natural methods to strengthen my immune systems and fight this (probable) cancer, and friends who eat gluten-free and vegan have been coming out of the woodwork. my Mom connected me with a nutritionist (who said I should still eat a little meat - my husband probably wants to fly down to Houston and hug him right now) and is assisting me beyond measure in understanding how my body naturally works and what i can do to restore my health if that's God's plan for me. though things are crazy at times and life looks so different than just a week ago, there hasn't been a moment where i couldn't say that God wasn't providing above and beyond our wildest dreams, exactly as He promised He would. friends and family have blessed us with finances, flowers, food, and sweeter moments of fellowship than we have perhaps ever known. this is all worth it. watching the body of Christ surround its members in need is one of the sweetest things i have ever seen. our hearts rejoice in knowing that we are loved.

how fitting that it's 3/3 and the verse resounding in my head is psalm 3:3. "but You, oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory and the lifter of my head."

i'll keep you posted (what a silly pun). please pray for continued peace, strength, wisdom, and discernment, and above all thay Jared's and my hearts would be woven closer together and closer to the Lord...whatever it takes for those two things to happen is beyond worth it in our book. God is good, truly good, and those words mean more to me now than i ever knew they could.

psalm 16:5-11

2010-02-17T14:57:00.003-06:00

Lord, you give me stability and prosperity;
you make my future secure.
It is as if I have been given fertile fields
or received a beautiful tract of land.
I will praise the Lord who guides me;
yes, during the night I reflect and learn.
I constantly trust in the Lord;
because he is at my right hand, I will not be upended.
So my heart rejoices and I am happy
My life is safe.
You will not abandon me to Sheol;
you will not allow your faithful follower to see the Pit.
You lead me in the path of life;
I experience absolute joy in your presence;
you always give me sheer delight.

inspired.

2010-01-28T21:48:00.005-06:00

Jared and I just returned from an evening of Office watching and conversation with fun, deeply-thinking, God-loving friends. The guys, as they've been known to do, split off rather quickly to talk about their classes, theology, and whatever modalism is, and us ladies found our conversation drifting toward the newest big thing, the iPad. The discussion of Apple's newest creative venture eventually rabbit trailed into thoughts on how technology is influencing the communication, language, and relationships of today. We knew we weren't the first people to ever think of this issue, but as women who hope to be mothers someday and who value face to face interaction, deep community, closeness, and showing others who Jesus is through action...we found ourselves with quite a bit to say.
For example, texting is great. I love texting. Texting gets things accomplished and allows for information to be communicated without much trouble at all. Fabulous. I'm all about information and making plans and saying a quick hello. I've definitely been known to even have a texting conversation in my day, but that's where we thought things started to get a little hazy. Why not pick up the phone, or even send an email (something that at least has a distant reference to a thought out letter)?
And what about when we have kids? What about when our kids start feeling the pressure and need to feel connected? How will we help them form meaningful friendships, even mentorships, even if it's just a few? How do we teach the value that comes from depth and not just width? Come to think of it, how do we help ourselves believe in it?
I don't think texting or emailing or whatever else by default keeps people from having deep relationships. But I constantly notice with myself a need to feel connected and informed, and all too often I attempt to fill that need with facebook or a surface level text message. Why not pick up the phone and have a conversation? I have time. We all have time at some point. So, I suppose the question is, how are we spending it? What do we cherish and value? Relationships touch souls, and souls last forever. I just want to be sure I'm treasuring the souls in my life, not just surface level information.
One of my friends tonight said we're going to look up one day and realize that we're the most connected people in the world, yet also the loneliest. Lets find ways to make sure that's not the case, for the sake of Jesus Christ, the community He cherishes, and the generations He may allow us to touch.

girlified.

2010-01-28T10:34:00.003-06:00

i thought the blog could use a little face lift. i'm hoping that the same theory of buying new clothes and therefore wanting to dress up more often will apply here. new look, new posts. we'll see...

"deep ocean, vast sea"

2010-01-11T10:55:00.003-06:00

honest, i really do want to blog more.

even more honest, there's so much and so little somehow going on at the same time these days that i get a little shaky everytime i think about trying to put a pen to paper (finger to keyboard?).

i've been thinking on so many levels recently. i realize that could sound arrogant, but that's definitely not what i mean. what i mean is, there are days where watching a tv show feels like the highest intellectual endeavor i could possibly pursue, and others when seminary and all its offerings are entirely compelling and enticing. there are days when i go to bed wondering if i've had a single original thought, and days when i'd give up eating macaroni and cheese for a year (yes, that would be a huge deal) if i could just will my brain to slow down.

this probably all sounds like i'm not peaceful these days...like i'm extremely stressed or tired or unbalanced. but to be perfectly honest, i think this may be just right. every day is different in a way, and exactly the same in others. same home, same job, same faith, same love of my life to wake up next to, yet new thoughts, new understandings, even new beliefs some days. perhaps this is what growing up looks like. if so, i think we'll all be okay.

(blog/song title - "deep ocean, vast sea" by peter murphy)

simply.

2009-12-17T11:03:00.003-06:00

i just can't wait to go "home" for Christmas. i'm not sure i've looked forward to a holiday this much since my age was in the single digits.

perhaps the anticipation comes from the fact that my expectations only include words such as "relax," "converse," and "enjoy." there are no "big plans" beyond a lovely little party with our beloved youth who are no longer youth. simply family, board games, movies, music, cooking, baking, feasting, and being. that's what it is...being. i can't wait to simply be for a while.

it's been a beautiful, semi-chaotic, rapid semester, and it's time to both reflect and escape for a while. here we come.

a grateful heart.

2009-11-26T20:46:00.006-06:00

today, i am thankful for so many things, big and small.

for a husband who seems to know nothing else but to love.
for a crazy/beautiful transition to dallas.
for a job that i love.
for a church that has embraced us, no questions asked.
for a school community that is passionate about the things of God.
for in-laws who call and ask if there are special things my family eats at thanksgiving so that they could help me feel at home during my first married, perry turkey day.
for a family who is already so excited about us spending christmas together that my mom and i e-mail about it almost every day.
for wonderful friends, new and old.
for so, so much more...

but this thanksgiving, i am especially thankful for God's perfect provision and timing in the announcement that...

OLIVIA IS OFFICIALLY A MEMBER OF THE FIGHTIN' TEXAS AGGIE CLASS OF 2014.

we are so proud of her, so thankful for her, and so excited to watch God's plans for unfold over the next four years. she's taking a road less traveled by graduating from high school early, in december, and starting college classes in january. we're amazed by her strength, in love with her wonderful humor and personality, and so grateful that she is a part of our lives. God is so good.

tapestry.

2009-11-17T09:53:00.005-06:00

As a class assignment this semester, I've "had" to read a devotion from Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest four days a week and then write a journal entry about it. God has used Chamber's words to convict, encourage, and strengthen believers for decades, and I've been incredibly blessed in each of those ways as well.

In our Sunday School class at our church, we've been working through the accounts in the Old Testament, most recently coming to the chapters about Abram (he isn't Abraham yet :)). We've been challenged to see even the earliest recordings in Genesis as a part of our story as believers, recognizing that God is continually unfolding the story of His glory most of all, and our redemption as a part of that immeasurable glory.

Today, I pulled up the My Utmost entry for November 17th, and lo and behold, there's our friend Abra(ha)m! Of all the ways God reveals His presence to me, I must say that one of my favorites, if I can have those, is when He weaves multiple vessels by which He is teaching me about Himself together...or, more simply, when paths cross. Abraham on Sunday, and Abraham (surprisingly) throughout the week strengthens my faith so that I can say things like "Jesus, I know You are here."

In this devotion, Chambers writes of how Abraham "reached where he [was] in touch with the very nature of God." Doesn't that just make your soul sing? Statements like that help me to remember that there is absolutely nothing on this earth that could ever surpass the greatness of knowing God by the kindness and revelation of the Spirit, and through the blood of Jesus Christ. "In touch with the very nature of God" - aware of His essence, confident of His goodness and love, trusting of His justice and mercy.

May God draw us deeper and deeper into His heart so that we can believe more about Who He is, we can know exactly who we are because of Him, and we can love this world around us with the utmost confidence and courage.

see below.

2009-10-16T15:44:00.005-05:00

i'm trying not to be a perfectionist anymore.

i think that's an oxymoron.

i don't think that you are supposed to try to not be a perfectionist but, what can I say...this is a process. also, i think the word legalist may describe my thinking processes a bit more accurately than perfectionist. either way, the point is that i'm going to try to calm down a bit...not feel like i have to be on top of everything all the time...

i'm going to have a little more fun, take a few more pictures, read a few more books, listen to some more music, and hide some more Word in my heart. burn a few more candles, learn a few new things, cook a few new dishes, and smile a few more times a day. i have a feeling that though i keep using the word "more"...life will feel a little less crazy.

...and i'm not going to try to sound poetic...i'm just going to let Life flow through me.

i'll keep you posted....

pun intended.

love justice.

2009-09-22T13:19:00.008-05:00

Invisible Children has launched a campain called "We Want Obama" in efforts to see American government officials take a stand regarding the warfare and child slavery in Northern Uganda. Joseph Kony is the leader of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) which is a guerilla group known for kidnapping children and brainwashing/forcing them into becomg child soldiers. The oppression and abuse have gone on far too long and Invisible Children is putting forth a petition calling for a Citizen's Arrest Warrant for Joseph Kony.

Please look at the site. Please take literally 30 seconds and sign the petition. Please take ten minutes and write your local government representatives through the links and e-mail template provided on the Invisible Children website. Kay Bailey Hutchison, Chet Edwards, and John Cornyn are all among the many officials who are yet to sign the LRA Disarmament Bill.

Children in Northern Uganda are dying. They are dying in spirit, they are dying in soul, they are dying in the flesh as child soldiers forced to be aimlessly fighting for an evil cause. You can do something about this. You really, really can. So do it. Our excuses and passivity don't stand before a God who loves justice.

And this isn't about what you think of our American government. It's about justice. And God loves justice.

He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God? - Micah 6:8

thoughts from the beginning.

2009-09-09T09:43:00.002-05:00

There is a lot to be said for living "a day at a time."

Things like:

"Praise God - I'd be dying if I wasn't."
and
"How did I survive previously when I thought thinking a month at a time was being responsible?"
and
"Your grace truly is enough for me."

Life is ever full at the moment but Jesus is ever present - there is truly nothing else I could ask for. Work is pleasant, which is something I often take for granted before remembering that an environment such as this one is oftentimes, unfortunately, the exception, not the rule, and an incredible blessing. School is incredibly constant and the main reason I am trying to learn how to live a day at a time, taking each assignment, book, and paper as it comes rather than thinking about everything due Friday on Monday. I plan ahead, I put it on the calendar, but I can honestly say that right now, I don't worry.

God is good all the time.

eve.

2009-08-24T16:07:00.002-05:00

school begins tomorrow, its "bouquets of sharpened pencils" (name that movie) beckoning jared and i to greet it. and so, we decide, we shall.

we've been planning this for years and here it is. i can happily say our expectations in terms of details are quite slim, we simply hope to learn, to discover, to enjoy. i suppose those are acceptable things to expect.

speaking of learning, discovering, and enjoying, i've been absolutely delighting in having a keyboard in my home once again. jared and i sang and played together a few times this weekend and i can see it becoming quite a lovely little life hobby for us. how joyful.

also, my friendly neighborhood facebook profile now contains photos of our happy little home. feel free to visit, enjoy, and comment - i do love a good comment.

speed of sound.

2009-08-11T20:16:00.003-05:00

oh, my.

....overwhelmed.

i think i've started to associate my blog with ireland..with all that happened that which seems so close yet so far away from this moment. this moment, this moment which has me in our new apartment, sitting on the fourth floor of a highrise, looking out on the seminary's lovely little campus. this moment, which is coming not long after the moment i experienced today when someone looked at me and said "we have an offer for you" and hired me to work for a non-profit. this moment, which has me looking at my husband, my apartment, my new life and thinking "God is so good. God is fo faithful."

and what's beautiful to me, is that i was saying the exact same thing in ireland, and it was just as true there as it is here. our lives have changed in almost every way, yet He, our Essential, remains. and that is why He is good, why He is faithful - because He remains center while all else revolves. blessed be the name of the Lord.

onward.

2009-07-30T08:44:00.005-05:00

in approximately 12 hours (yes, 3am irish time), jared and i will be waking up and headed to the cork airport for our 6am flight. 23 hours later (yes, 3am irish time) and 3 flights later, we'll arrive in houston.

...excuse me, summer, where do you think you're going?

and not just summer, but what happened to the two years of anticipation to come here?

jared graduated from college.
we got engaged.
we got married.
i graduated college.
we worked full time jobs.
we got on a plane.

oh yeah.

it is time to go home, we can feel it. but how is it possible that august is just hours away?

we quit our jobs.
we put all our stuff in storage.
we celebrated our one year anniversary.
we got on a plane.
we spent two weeks with our hosts.
the team came and went.
we spent two more weeks with our hosts.
we're getting on a plane.

ohhh, yeah. that's how it's posible.

we'll miss ireland dearly, but the next stage of our life is knocking at the door and its just about time to invite it in for coffee.

what a sweet summer we have had. words will never be able to capture all we have learned, seen, heard, realized, discovered, and enjoyed. life is sweet when Jesus is leading.

i often wondered how the end of the summer would feel. would i be devestated to leave? would i be counting down the seconds with anticipation? i am thrilled to say that it is neither. the summer could not have been more wonderful, more full. yet, i have grown immeasurably more confident that the Lord gives and takes away in His own timing, and He is also the Giver of all good things. so, when we walk with Him, we can be content to leave the old and happy to walk into the new. it doesn't mean it isn't hard, it doesn't mean newness doesn't breed a bit of nervousness, but it does mean that we are free to be excited and joyful as we walk with God because we are assured of Who He is.

off we go.

spaces.

2009-07-23T06:35:00.003-05:00

sometimes blank spaces are a little intimidating.
yet, sometimes filled spaces are a little intimidating too.

i feel like our life is filled, somehow, with both of these right now.

today, its a rainy day in youghal and we have little to no plans as ernie and nancy are heading out for the day. at some point, we'll be making copies of fliers for the soccer camp next week, but other than that...the day is ours. blank spaces.

yesterday, we spent the day barbecuing with folks from the midleton church, one of the daughter churches of the cork church (the original church plant in the area), of which youghal baptist is a granddaughter church. we had a joyful day, and i even got to spend time with two of my girls from my quiet time group at camp. then, we joined kate, emma, and their mom, debbie, for a night of watching irish musicians and dancers - it was absolutely splendid. such a "cultural experience." filled spaces.

during our last week here, a northern irish team coming down to put on a soccer camp will be staying with us (well, the 8 guys will...2 girls are staying with jessie) so we'll be busy feeding them, getting to know them, and sharing our house with them. we fly out the same morning that they do. filled spaces.

when we get home...i don't even know what to say about getting home. so many empty spaces, so many filled spaces. catching up with friends, family, and supporters - filled spaces. moving - filled spaces. job hunting and getting ready for school - empty, unknown, exciting, daunting spaces.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. - Psalm 18:19
perhaps God rejoices with us, should we choose to rejoice, in the empty spaces of our life...

Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full. - John 16:24
ah, filled spaces.

so, my heart says, no matter how planned, how scheduled, how understandable, how attainable the "spaces" in my life may be - I will rejoice! God has gone before me, He comes with me, He follows close behind me...He is in every space of my life. May He continue penetrating further and further in to every corner and detail.

the heart of life.

2009-07-16T17:37:00.003-05:00

seeing as i've been away from the blogopshere for about two weeks, i don't think at this point i'll attempt to give a day by day account. i will say that the ten days the team all had together after camps were over were a precious blessing from the Lord. we grew even deeper in our friendships and our knowledge of Jesus as we distributed magazines, led a Sunday morning service, and helped with other random upcomings. our hearts were unified further and it was a joy to bring that unity into other situations as we spent time with families and teens in the area. "they'll know us by our love"...i sure do know those team members love Jesus by their love for others.

as far as specifics, by the time the team left we had handed out 5500 magazines! we are only 500 magazines short of our goal (due only to weather, not lack of persistence!) and, should the skies smile on us tomorrow, we'll be finishing those up with kate (one of our dear friends here) as well as luke, one of the teens in town.

last sunday, we conducted the church service at youghal baptist. mervyn interviewed the team regarding their time here, chris/haley/i led worship, ashley read scripture, and jared preached. allow me to just brag on my husband for a moment. he absolutely blew me away. now, by blew me away i don't mean "performed well," "had a perfect three point sermon" (which neither of us would call perfect anyway), or "was so charismatic and charming we nearly forgot where we were." rather, i mean he studied the Word for hours on end the week before, articulated clearly, and so obviously listened to the Spirit lead. i was so blessed by him that day and we continue to pray that others in the congregation were as well. in case you're curious, he spoke on great faith using the examples of the centurion with the sick servant and samaritan woman with the demon possessed daughter, who are the only two examples in matthew of people Jesus said had great faith. oh to be as transformed as they were, how lovely to know we can be!

sunday afternoon, we had a church bbq here at the tromsness' filled with delicious food, kickball, and conversation. we also got to visit with a couple from the Logos Hope ("A cutting-edge example of international cooperation and cultural understanding, this growing fleet has been sailing the world since 1970, housing at any one time over 600 unpaid volunteers from around 70 countries! These crewmembers have each given several months or even years of their lives to serve on board, promoting world-wide education, cooperation, aid relief, social awareness and a personal relationship with God, in the ports and countries to which they travel."), a ship with an incredible bookstore (which we splurged at due to the ridiculously low prices) and a huge heart for the gospel which was docked in Cork for a few weeks. we had visited it the previous day with the team and several friends from camp whom we met for pizza, ice cream, shopping, and shipping. it was wonderful to meet others with a heart for missions who were following the Lord in such a specific way.

monday, we got to visit the blarney stone with the team - such fun - then eat dinner with a few families and other friends from camp. we have been blown away by the hospitality and openness here, if anything rubs off on us, i hope its that! we then had some time just with the team for their last night which was such a blessing. we rode with them to the airport at 5am the following morning and were sad to see them go, but excited to know that the Lord has such wonderful plans for each of our lives and it will be a joy to see where he leads each of us.

we've spent the last few days communing with friends and getting to rest a bit as we recover from social overload the past month. we're still around a lot of people all the time but jared and i will actually be getting monday all to ourselves which is a huge deal - we haven't had a day together since june 14th and only had lunch alone together once while the team was here. we wouldn't trade a minute of our time with any of them, or with a single irish person, but our marriage is definitely knocking at the door of our hearts asking for our attention, so, its time to grant it! praise God for giving us the blessing of time, perserverance, patience, whatever it may be, exactly when we need it. our hearts rejoice as we learn to rely on Him more and more each day.

<3

finally filling you in.

2009-07-06T10:32:00.002-05:00

eeesh. there's a lot to blog about. i keep putting it off because i don't know where to begin, but all that does is add another day to the blogging deficit. so, here i go!

last thursday night (as in ten days ago), jared, ashley, and i headed up to camp to help the rest of the team and their camp officers put on their texas night! we had the best time. we had a rotation of six activities set up - teaching the kids to lasso, a silly string shoot out, barrel racing using horses made out of pool floats (noodles), a pinata, pictures with cowboy hats and lassos, and teaching them how to line dance! ashley and i were the dance teachers and oh my goodness did we have fun. the kids loved it (we weren't so sure if they would) and all came back at the end to do it together! the irish are very easy going, we couldn't have had a better group of kids.

over the weekend, we got ready for the team to come home (made them a ridiculous "we missed you" banner and tacos), and enjoyed having our little family back together for a while. we watched blood diamond (more on that in a future post - whoa.), played uno, and stayed up late talking about relationships, church, theology...all the good stuff :). while those conversations can tend to be frustrating and create dissension, with this team it did exactly the opposite. everybody listened, valued, and encouraged what others had to say. we had such a great time learning from one another. we are so blessed.

after church on sunday, jared, ashley and i headed off to camp! where to even begin with camp? well, in a nutshell, i was assigned to the kitchen while jared and ashley were on the activity team, which turned out to be extremely essential to camp as it rained constantly and we played game after game after game inside the barn. they did an incredibly job coming up with activities that were so fun the kids didn't even notice the rain. working in the kitchen was great - i assisted two other ladies, sinead and olive, who i knew from last time and were wonderful to work with. ashley and jared had a wonderful time playing soccer, basketball, ping pong, and whatever else the kids were up for.

mervyn scott, the local missionary we worked on the magazines with, was our camp speaker and he absolutely brought down the house. he started with luke 24 when the men are walking on the road to emmaus and are met by the resurrected Jesus. Jesus proceeds to tell them all about himself, starting with Moses and the prophets, so mervyn decided to walk us through some of the things he may have told them. he took us through prophecies and articulated the gospel with unbelievable clarity. he also wrote our quiet time (small group) notes which delved further into evidence of the reality of Christ, the necessity of Scripture, and what a life with Christ looks like. the kids were truly taken to a new place this week and it was glorious to watch. two girls in ashley's small group came to saving faith in Jesus this week (hallelujah!) and the five boys in jared's group as well as the four girls in mine each articulated a clear understanding of the gospel which they claimed they had believed at an earlier time. the Lord is good and it was a joy to watch him at work. on thursday, our other team members came to help us put on our texas night and ashley and i again had a great time teaching line dancing - we were absolutely exhausted and sore after dancing for two solid hours but the kids loved it and came back at the end yet again. the week before, haley and john 0'sullivan (their camp director) sang "jackson" by johnny cash and june carter, and at our camp haley and jared sang it together. they did such a great job! all in all, it was a wonderful week, and while we were ready to return home to a house with real walls (we slept in tents), daily showers (the leaders got to shower twice during the week, the campers only once), and a few moments to ourselves, we wouldn't trade the week at camp for anything - God moved very mightily and we met incredible people, both officers and campers.

saturday when we returned home, the other team made a big welcome home sign for us and delicious chocolate chip cookies! we watched movies and caught up, then on sunday we headed to church (still pretty exhausted) and had a day off full of apples to apples bible version (not so sure about that...), movies, and more catching up. today, the half of the team who went to camp first headed off to cork city to meet up with folks from their camp. nancy dropped jared and i off in town so we could have a little bit of time alone together which was wonderful. we had lunch then walked back home and ashley went running on the beach! we'll see what happens next...

well hey, hay fever.

2009-06-24T16:47:00.005-05:00

heyy.

this morning, we headed out yet again for some more magazine distribution. i'm rather amazed one of us hasn't had our fingers destroyed by frequent the attack dogs (also known as "poodles," "cocker spaniels," and various other dogs who shouldn't be capable of barking and jumping with the ferocity they somehow possess) who run to the door and grab the magazine before we've finished putting it through the letter box. its ridiculous. other than that though, we're really enjoying it - the occasional conversation, the frequent walking, the lovely sun - its been a great way for us to be involved in the community and let us "feel involved" in a very specific way.

unfortunately, jared's allergies flared up in fine form today. he has his medicine, but he didn't for a few days there so we're waiting for it to get back in his system. he's doing okay but the amount he can sneeze in a minute is pretty incredible. maybe i should contact the guinness book of world records. think it would help that his hay fever starts doing a jig in the country where guinness was invented? probably not.

after we finished our magazine route for the day, mervyn brought us home and ashley and i returned to pinata world, which, thank goodness, will no longer be a part of our lives after the next few days pass. they are looking...decent...and we've only had one collapse when we popped the balloon inside - not bad.

this afternoon, we also started studying our notes for the quiet time groups we'll be leading next week at camp. we'll be studying prophecies about Jesus in the OT that came true in the NT, who Jesus really is/said He was, etc. we're really excited about it - please pray for God to speak clearly through mervyn as he teaches and through us as we lead our small groups.

tonight, ashley and i started filling the pinatas with candy and sewing them up...hooray! they aren't the prettiest pinatas i've ever seen, but i can't say i feel strongly about something that is smashed to bits and only used for its insides needing to be attractive. call me hard hearted.

the agenda for tomorrow is more pinata construction (which is also known as "sneaking the occasional mini-snickers bar while wondering if this dye/discoloration on my hands from crepe paper will ever fade"), an hour or so of finishing up magazines (please pray that people will read them and think about what they say, they are all over the community...so much potential!), ashley and i going to lunch in town (hooray!), and the 3 of us heading to camp to see our lovely little friends and help them put on texas night! please pray for a smooth, fun evening and energy for our pals who have been at camp all week. pray that we will be a great encouragement and energizer to them.

well, i'm off to say hey to mr. hey i have hay fever and see how he's doing. love you all.

good thing freckles are irish.

2009-06-23T14:37:00.004-05:00

today, we headed back out to town and passed out magazines from about 9-1. it was a very warm day for ireland and i got quite a toasty sunburn on my shoulders and arms - oops! i didn't think it was possible to get sunburned here, learn something new everyday.

this afternoon we were pretty wiped out and are doing our best to not be exhausted by the time camp comes around, so we've taken it easy for a good bit of the rest of the day. tomorrow, we're back to magazines, finally finishing the pinatas, perfecting our line dancing playlist, and decorating our cowgirl hats from the euro store! ha.

ernie called and said camp has been delightful so far! thanks for all the prayers.

the sunny side of life.

2009-06-22T17:14:00.008-05:00

i'm going to consider it quite an accomplishment if i am able to keep up with a day by day log of our trip as long as the team is here, but i've done it so far so why not keep trying, right?

now, where were we?

friday, i do believe. this was quite a fun day. in the morning, mervyn scott, who is an irish missionary here in youghal, brought over his 13 year old daughter, bethany, and some of her friends to help us put stickers on magazines and stuff them with letters so that people know they are coming from the youghal baptist community. the girls also helped us make pinatas! we had a wonderful time working together, learning about their school system (which is incredibly different and much more difficult than ours all things considered), trying to mimic one another's accents, and singing together as haley oftentimes serenaded us at our request. it was a lovely morning and afternoon, and as the teens left we all headed out to a pre-camp barbecue. it was technically a night for the officers (counselors) of the senior camp (15-18) which is going on this week, but since our summer team had just arrived, john o'sullivan (everyone calls him "johno" - he's the senior camp leader/host of the bbq) let us all come and enjoy. it was an especially enjoyable night for me as i got to see old friends from my first summer here, including precious emma sly who was in my small group at camp and has just finished her first year of university at trinity in dublin. such a joy. late friday night was lovely as well as we all arrived home and the team decided they were going to gather up blankets, give me a beanie, make some tea, and coax jared and i into sitting outside, playing guitar, chatting, and looking for stars. it didn't take much coaxing and we had a splendid time. they bring so much life to our experience here....they become our "joy and crown" more and more each day.

on saturday, we headed out to the farm where camp is hosted to finish cleaning and setting up for camp. the guys engaged in "manual labour" (spelled the european way quite intentionally) as they hammered tent stakes into the ground, while us ladies washed down chairs and headed out to the "toilets" and scrubbed...and scrubbed...and scrubbed. lovely. around lunch time, the boys headed out to see transformers with two of mervyn's sons and one of the teens, ilyas, who stayed with us over the weekend because he lives rather far from camp, while ashley, haley, ernie, nancy and i headed back to the house where we warmed up hamburgers and settled in for a lovely afternoon of watching bride wars which was much cuter and funnier than i expected! we also watched walk the line, did some laundry, and listened to the guys gush away about the movie when they returned home. johno and ilyas stayed the night and the senior camp folks got packed up and ready for camp while jared and i skyped with his family!

sunday, we headed to church where ernie preached on philippians 3 and 4. the team was introduced to the church and it was lovely to show them another part of what we've been involved in so far and who they are parterning with in ministry while they're here for these 4 weeks. we said good-bye to our senior camp half and then ashley, jared and i headed to the scotts for lunch with their family and the lewis'. we chatted away there for the afternoon and then headed to the radio station (mervyn has a weekly show) where jared and i sang live on the radio. holy cow. we were going to play a recording of "in Christ alone" and then someone suggested we sing it so we played through it twice and on we went. i don't think anyone will be contacting us for a record deal anytime soon but it was very fun, spur of the moment, and a blessing to talk about and sing a song that was dear enough to us to be played at our wedding. ashley then recorded a show to be played this sunday while mervyn is speaking at our intermediate camp (12-15) and did such a wonderful job, so many will be blessed by her joy and sincerity. last night, we came home (which felt incredibly empty with only the three of us) and made breakfast for dinner :). jared and i then got to skype with my dad and sister, hooray!

and, finally, today! mervyn picked the three of us up this morning and we headed into youghal where we "put magazines through the doors" (they have slits in their doors here, not mailboxes). i've told a few people in recent days that its been interesting for me to see how different strategies of ministry are beneficial in different places. in america, i wouldn't be very optimistic about putting literature in people's mailboxes because we are so inundated with "christian" information, especially in texas. however, here, folks are rarely encouraged to read the word of God on their own because of the corruption of the Roman Catholic church in ireland. the magazine encourages them to do just that - seek out the word of God on their own, not relying on a priest or middle man to tell them God's plan for their life but to understand who He is by reading His Word! please pray that the magazines will be effective and that we will be joyful as we walk up, down, and all over town to hand them out. we headed home in the afternoon to continue making pinatas and stuffing the magazines with letters. ashley and i have permanently dyed red hands thanks to the pinata crepe paper which is a bit unfortunate, but other than that it was a delightful afternoon and all the magazines are ready to go!

well, my goodness, i've finished. congratulations if you have read this all the way through. my hope is to write these logs as such, but to also write posts as commentary on things i'm feeling, thinking, experiencing, etc. i want to keep track of our trip but i also love to focus on writing, language, thought, etc, and it can be a tad hard to do that when attempting to recount our day to day experiences. we'll just have to see what happens :).

enjoy a few pictures!

haley and little aaron bateman who fell in love with her at camp clean up on thursday night!

ashley and i working on the infamous pinatas for western/texan/we're practically mexican night.

the guys holed up in their magazine, red shirted, star wars filled world.

beloved brethren.

2009-06-21T17:42:00.007-05:00

where to even begin...

the last few days have been full of people, food, tea, coffee, magazines, pictures, driving, and ever so much more. ever since the team got here, our energy level has multiplied a hundred times over and it seems our activities have too, which is the perfect combination! they are an indescribable joy to have with us. daily, i think of verses such as Philippians 4:1 in which Paul refers to his fellow brethren as "longed for," "beloved," "his joy," and "crown" as our team members encourage, serve, bless, and strengthen us, the community in Youghal, teens in the area, and our hosts. they seek to engage with others without dominating the moment and truly listen and respond to what is said to them. we adore them.

as far as this week, as i mentioned in my last post the team arrived on tuesday (after 3/4 of them went to the wrong houston airport and barely made it to their flight - go ahead and give me a heart attack why don't you?) full of exhaustion (sort of...), hunger, smiles, and that undying energy. they ate some dinner, moved into their rooms, and decided their next move would be to talk us into going on a five mile walk into town and back. talk about fun! we had the greatest time enjoying one another, the scenery, and almost being demolished by more than one vehicle and/or dog.

on wednesday, patrick and chris worked on getting the 4You magazines (www.4you.ie) we'll be distributing throughout the community ready, Haley hung out with some teenage girls we've gotten to know, and Jared, Ashley, Ernie, Nancy and I headed into Cork to do some last minute shopping for camp. we found cowboy hats for both the guys and girls for the western night we'll be putting on at camp, as well as rope for a lasso, and silly string shooting guns for the shoot out. yeehaw. then, ash, jared and i hopped on a bus and rode to a town called bandon where we had dinner at a family named the jeffers' house and met with fellow officers for our camp and planned about 4230 games.

thursday, we had a day at home that we kicked off with a morning devotional led by Ernie, and some beautiful tunes led by Haley and Jared. then, we worked through all our fun games and such for camp and tried to figure out how to lasso with extremely thin rope. really, we were trying to figure out how to lasso at all. apparently we are not very texan (don't tell). that afternoon, the guys worked on more magazines while ashley and i started making pinatas, which has been especially fun for me as i also made them the first summer i came here for mexican night at camp. we told nancy that texas is close enough to mexico for us to do pinatas at our western/texan night again this year - ha. afterwards, nancy and i headed to the grocery store so that we could get stocked up for this week - she, ernie, pat, chris, and haley have all headed off to the first week of camp so ash, jared, and i are fending for ourselves. we're quite sad that we'll be apart for 2 weeks from the other half of our team (we'll leave sunday the 28th for our week), but we absolutely can't wait to see what God does in these two weeks. on thursday night, we headed out to the farm where camp is held and started cleaning up and getting everything ready. it was so fun for me to watch everyone experience the initial "are you seriously trying to tell me we have camp here?!" thought and then see it slowly transform into "oh, wow, this really could work." while at the clean-up, aaron and emma bateman, two little kids whose grandparents own the farm where we have camp, fell absolutely in love with haley and ashley! so precious. after we cleaned up for a while, we were invited over to the bateman's house for tea, coffee, and biscuits (cookies) and to walk around in their beautiful gardens. it was absolutely lovely. they have three peacocks, by the way.

well, its midnight here and we're off to distribute magazines in the morning so i think i'll call it a night. hopefully tomorrow i'll have a few minutes to at least get caught up as far as what we've been doing each day. cheers!

they're here!!

2009-06-18T12:49:00.007-05:00

and, if you can't tell, its been glorious so far. we love them. they wanted to go on a five mile walk when they got here. they're basically superhuman.

the team is coming the team is coming!

2009-06-16T06:19:00.008-05:00

just a few hours from now we'll be staring at the faces of our lovely, exhausted, completely unaware of what time it really is team members. hullabaloo.

here are a few pictures of our time so far. don't get too excited, we do promise they'll get better in the next few weeks!

this is the neighbor's house and the incredible view behind it. when we looked out the window of the airplane as we landed, the view was spectacular patches of different shades of green, much like the sections you see here. beautiful! today is an absolutely gorgeous day, 65 degrees and sunny (please don't hate me texans), the perfect day for the team to arrive!

we decided to take advantage of this lovely day by, drumroll please, doing laundry! they have a dryer but its very expensive to run so we've been doing our best to do laundry on sunny, dry days. i've gotta be honest - if i ever live somewhere that it would be feasible, i'd be totally into line drying my clothes. also i found out that i have a kitchen gadget that will enable me to make my own baby food someday. hippieeee.

well, the computer has decided it would rather not upload any more pictures right now, so we'll just keep you in anticipation. leaving to get the team in twenty minutes!

in other news.

2009-06-15T13:58:00.003-05:00

i just came across a website that has some delightful, healthy recipes, and, what's even better, an entire section on cooking for 2! glory. i'm excited about our little home awaiting us in dallas and tonight is the perfect night to find some tasty treats to fill it up with. any favorite recipes are welcome!

lovely tonight.

2009-06-15T07:15:00.004-05:00

(title credit goes to joshua radin who you need to listen to if you don't already.)

This afternoon and evening, Ernie and Nancy are out and Jared and I having a stay at "home" date/day off before the team comes tomorrow! Right now, Jared is playing Joshua Radin on the guitar (hence the blog title and the fact that words like "ecstasy" and "bliss" are breezing through my mind) and I'm, well, I'm blogging. We are so thrilled to have a day together and at the same time absolutely can't wait to see our team tomorrow. I can't believe its already time for them to come, this trip is going to fly by. We're doing our best to soak it up and remember the things we've seen, heard, and learned already. Its funny, I remember last time I came I told Nancy I wished I had written down everything she told me because we spent hours talking about marriage (it was 2 months or so before Jared and I got engaged), life, family, Jesus, scripture, being in the world and not of it, and so much more. She smiled and told me that if God was faithful enough to let me hear wisdom, He would be faithful to bring it to mind at the right time. Of course, He has, continues to, and will again.

Yesterday, we went to church in the morning and then Jessie (one of the other missionaries), and the Lewis family (the newer missionaries who just had a baby - Seth, Jessica, Daniel, and the new baby David) came for "dinner." Dinner, evidently, refers to the fact that its the biggest meal of the day, not the time of day it is served. So, they came for dinner at lunch time. We had a wonderful time with them and enjoyed hearing more about what they are in doing in the community, as well as getting to know Jessica's Mom who is here from Virginia helping with the baby. Then, last night we got to talk to the Perrys on skype for a while and then my little sister, Olivia for a few minutes! It was so great to get to talk to family and actually see them - it makes a big difference.

In other news, apparently Dr. Murano is no longer the president of A&M. Gotta love adult drama.

Love you guys dearly, off to hang out with the hub!

what we're doing these days.

2009-06-09T16:35:00.004-05:00

Hello friends,

The last week has been filled with....everything!

The first few days of last week were spent sleeping and being awake at rather strange times, but we adjusted within 3 or 4 days and got in some good movies during our hours of sleeplessness (including Sleepless in Seattle, ironically enough). We stay up later here than we do at home for the most part because the sun doesn't really go completely down till around 10pm, so our bodies are still a little deceived. Fortunately, we get to sleep a tad later than we did while we were working in College Station :).

A large motivation behind this trip (specifically for Jared and me) has been a desire to see what the life of a missionary in a European, specifically Irish, context really looks like. So far, we've discovered quite a bit! Since we've been here, a young missionary couple has had a baby, a friend's grandmother has passed away, we've helped conduct interviews for a radio station position, made thousands (literally) of lecture note copies for Summer Bible Week, read some wonderful books, ate some great food, missed our friends and family, watched rain fall out the window every day, experienced an average of 60 degree weather, and a good bit more.

Most days we wake up with a vague idea of what the following hours will bring, which is a stark contrast to the 8-5 lives we were living before we came here. It has been an adjustment and continues to be (not to mention that we'll be jumping into an entirely new schedule different from either of the two previous when we move to Dallas), but we are grateful that God (and our hosts) are patient, and that we have the opportunity to see that an American schedule is not the only way of life and that what is done here is not wrong, it is simply different. And if we're talking preference...I think we may fit in a bit more with the mentality here than we do in the States :). We'll see what happens!

Love you all and would love to hear from you. Let me know if you'd like to be added to our prayer email list!

We're in Youghal, y'all!

2009-06-03T19:29:00.000-05:00

We've arrived my friends! The title of my post is intended to be funny though most people probably don't get it, my apologies. The town we are living in is called "Youghal" - which is pronounced exactly how we say "y'all" in Texas. Crazy isn't it?

We arrived in Ireland around 4pm yesterday, so 10am in Texas. After a crazy amount of sleep, we are filling a bit out of it but great. Today, a group called "The Barnabas Players" from Prairie Bible College left so we had dinner (which is called "tea") with them - they have been here for the past three weeks doing sketches about creation, the gospel, and topics such as peer pressure, in the schools here - which is a really big deal. Praise God for open doors, we know that the team had great impact on the children and youth that watched them perform.

At the moment we're waiting to leave for a prayer meeting with some members of the recent church plant the Tromsness (our hosts) are involved with. It'll be fun to meet some more folks (one of them is a family who recently moved here from Hungary!) One of the new additions to the missionary team here in Ireland is a young family, Seth and Jessica, who have a little boy named Daniel and are expecting their second son, David, any day! Pray for them as they've recently moved, are in a totally new culture, and about to incur another huge change. They are incredibly well adjusted and seem to trust the Lord very deeply, pray for their continued trust and an easy birth :).

We'll do our best to post as often as we can. Much love!

over the mountains and the sea.

2009-05-30T10:42:00.003-05:00

48 hours from now we'll be on our way to the airport after squeezing in about 18 hours to celebrate our first anniversary! too bad a raccoon ate the top layer of our cake after the wedding....although i can't really imagine one year old frozen cake is as heavenly as the tradition makes it sound.

we are SO excited. today is our last day of errands, packing, and last minute-ness. its amazing to think back on the way the Lord has been preparing our hearts and minds for this trip in the years past - we believe with full hearts that He will continue to prove Himself faithful, can't wait to see how!

off to finish up laundry and figure out which 50 pounds of my life will be joining us for the next few months. if any of you didn't receive our first prayer request email and want to please let me know!

its official!

2009-04-24T15:45:00.002-05:00

Houston (IAH)Depart 1:53 pm Terminal A to Philadelphia (PHL)Arrive 6:20 pm Terminal C
1,329 mi(2,139 km)Duration: 3hr 27mn Philadelphia (PHL)Depart 10:40 pm Terminal A
to London (LHR)Arrive 11:05 am +1 day Terminal 1 3,546 mi(5,707 km)Duration: 7hr 25mn
US US AirwaysFlight: 728

The day after our one year anniversary, we're headed out across the seas :). We'll be back July 31st...what a lovely summer it will be!

hippie.

2009-04-01T18:19:00.004-05:00

i've decided to become a coupon clipper. my inspiration is coming from a few things - constant disappointment at the HEB check out counter, a recognition that our budget will likely be shrinking in august, and this blog - written by a lady here in CS who i've never met but stalk a little obsessively. her wisdom on everything from marriage to modesty to mama-ing is full of humor, freedom, scripture, and love. so, if she clips coupons, i guess i'll try too!

i signed up for something called "the grocery game" today which gives me access to a lot of coupons and a list of everything already on sale or buy this get this free deals at HEB or whatever store i choose. that way, i can look at the list and menu plan from it. brilliant! the trial is only $1 for 4 weeks and jared's boss swears by this program (so i have someone to get help from, its a little confusing)! you might try it out...

you may be wondering why i titled this post "hippie." partially its because i am listening to priscilla ahn at the moment who is a tad hippie-ish (and a bigger tad wonderful). but mostly because i've realized that the little hippie inside me is so pleased when i find something to start pursuing that's beneficial, helps me feel free, and i can share with others. so, with the coupon thing, i can save money, recognize my budget as a help and not a threat, and hopefully help some others save money once i kinda get things figured out. i can pass thriftiness (without obsession) to my kids someday and help them become a blessing to their spouse in that way. and maybe with my leftover sheckels i can buy one of those cute, hippielike summer scarves at target i've been salivating over and/or buy some art supplies. yes, me, art supplies. the little hippie keeps telling me to try some artsy things out....we'll see...

what do you do that helps you feel free...beneficial....helpful?

swaggin' it.

2009-03-15T18:45:00.002-05:00

click the link, sign up for swagbucks, get points, give me points, get stuff.

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=396428

trust and obey.

2009-03-08T09:31:00.004-05:00

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
- lewis carroll

the title for this post and the quote above probably seem to relate very little if at all. yet, for the myriad of ideas, thoughts, feelings, decisions, and dreams flying around my heart and mind these days - they seem to collide quite nicely. "the time has come...to talk of many things." to pray for many things. to decide many things. and so,

"i will trust
i will obey
i will follow where You lead
come what may..."

see, they fit perfectly.

the language of spirit and soul.

2009-02-24T13:33:00.002-06:00

my heart/soul/spirit don't tend to speak English. they favor the dialect of music.

just a few they've been speaking frequently, recently:

we are man and wife - michelle featherstone
where i stood - missy higgins
samson - regina spektor

i'm mostly writing this because - thank you Jesus - i got my tuition rebate in the mail yesterday and get to spend it on a piano/keyboard. i miss playing so much, and my parents don't have a piano anymore, so i rarely if ever get to play. my favorite place to sing is when i'm also playing. i can't wait to learn the songs above and many, many more. suggestions?

also - www.oth-music.com goes episode by episode and gives the songs for each episode of one tree hill. whether you watch the show or not - its very musically savvy (each show is named after a song) and i've acquired some amazing tunes through it.

thank God for music. sometimes English just doesn't do it.

2009-02-22T15:19:00.003-06:00

well, i'm sitting here at my parent's dining room table on a lovely sunday afternoon waiting for danielle (my dear friend who is in england at the moment) to appear online so i can skype for the first time! quite exciting.

this weekend, our church did a weekend for the youth called "kardia" which means heart. it was set up like a d-now, one night & we stayed in people's homes , and the theme was "the sex delusion." it breaks my heart for the immorality these kids are exposed to every single day, i know our world has always been gross - but it seems that approval of the grossness is increasing every day. i really believe this was a beautiful weekend of truth, healing, and preparation to stand strong for the right reasons - not just because "True Love Waits." God really is good, all the time. His truth really is true, all the time. and Satan is a liar not on occasion, but all the time, it is the essence of who he is. just as he cannot do anything but lie and manipulate, God can do nothing but speak truth, justice, and love. what a wonderful Savior.

well, danielle and i have found each other so i'm heading out to chat. have a lovely day :)

a reflection of something we're missing.

2009-02-12T08:58:00.003-06:00

do you ever have a moment where your eyes are somehow able to break through the natural and seem to peer into the supernatural for a moment?

you look at someone who doesn't know Jesus, but their life, their words, the places they find sadness or even happiness, reflect the fact that they see and experience every need for a Savior yet deny the One Who Saves?

i was listening to this song by Bright Eyes on my way to work this morning and it made me think of that, of them. this is how it goes:

now I know a disease that these doctors can't treat
you contract on the day, you accept all you see is a mirror
and a mirror is all it can be,
a reflection of something we're missing.
and language just happened,
it was never planned,
and it's inadequate to describe where I am,
in the room of my house where the light's never been,
waiting for this day to end.

it breaks my heart. the lyricist is feeling every need for a Savior, for a Comforter, for a Lover - and its real enough to him to put on a cd and send out all over the world. its funny that non"Christian" music can stir our hearts for the Lord. funny that a tv show, a movie, a book can get our souls, our minds, our hearts going in directions that Jesus longs to take them.

look for ways to cling to Jesus. seek out the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes that immerse you in a sense of His kindness and love and chase them. then you will be able to love your neighbor as yourself, as you are loving the Lord Your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. then you will be able to show those wandering in darkness the beautiful light that can fulfill the "reflection of something we're missing."

the songwriter is right, our disease is one that our earthly doctors can't treat - but our Great Physician can. language is inadequate to describe where we are, but the Holy Spirit can intercede for us with groanings too deep for words. without hope, it is our inclination to just wait for the days to end, but Jesus brings life to the full.

lets go.

making sense of the world.

2009-01-20T09:10:00.001-06:00

sometimes pictures weave a better story than words.

#44

2009-01-20T08:03:00.009-06:00

happy inauguration day!

no matter how you voted or feel, let's be excited - this is a joyous, much belated day for America and, well, your kids will study this in history class!

feeling patriotic?

oh, and have a laugh.

my, my.

2009-01-13T21:15:00.003-06:00

its been quite some time.

i started my new job recently - learning it and loving it so far.

over the break, jared and i went skiing with my family and our best family friends - the kiltz. well, to be completely accurate, we went snowboarding. yes, snowboarding! my very first time on a wintery mountain and i chose to navigate down it strapped into something resembling a surfboard. there were a few tragic falls and frustrating moments, but overall it was literally one of the most fun things i have ever done - and i have to be honest, i felt quite good that i could (somewhat) do it. i've always written myself off as never having an athletic bone in my body - but it looks like i may have found one or two! such fun.

vacations are really important, you know. remember that as we all start dancing toward building our families, our ministries, our jobs. vacations aren't lazy - they're wise, beautiful, sometimes even daring. though, when a vacation starts to feel daring, be careful. often times we think we're a tad more crucial to a situation than we are. the world will not crumble if you take a few days off - i strongly encourage you to try it, especially my out of college friends. breathe in, breathe out, and have the time to realize you just took a breath.

for my married friends.

2008-12-19T08:05:00.005-06:00

dear couples, for the most part,

recently i listened to "the peasant princess" series, an in depth study of the song of solomon, by mark driscoll from mars hill bible church in seattle. it was excellent in so many senses of the word - good Bible exposition and incredibly practical, convicting, accessible application. i encourage you and your hubby to give it a listen, you can find it on itunes under "Mars Hill Church: Mark Driscoll Audio." i will say it gets a little...intense...at times, which is the only reason i specifically mentioned my married friends, obviously singles were sitting in church when Mark preached these sermons and can learn a great amount from them, it may just tend toward being more frustrating than helpful at times. use your judgment :).

anyhow, also, one of the sermons in the series is called "the little foxes," referring to the process of eliminating sin and temptation from your marriage. you, yes you, can play "whac-a-fox" and get those mean little foxes right out of your garden. hilarious.

this is my last day at the basket shop before i start my new position - strange. i'm excited to move on but its a little sad to leave. change always creates a lot of feelings, ya know? well, here i go!

disclaimer: mark may say things you don't line up with 100% whether in opinions about theology, sex, or family. i encourage you to keep listening and understand the heart of the message.

grace upon grace.

2008-12-15T09:15:00.004-06:00

i'm so grateful for graduation.
for the accomplishment
for the relief of no more homework
for the reminder of the mark my college years have made on my life
for the incredible job opportunity i now have because i was able, somehow, to graduate early.

want to hear about it? ok. super. i love talking about it.

my current boss, melany, who owns baskets on the brazos wasn't going to be able to add very many more hours for me in the spring so i was going to keep that job and add another part time maybe at starbucks or something. but, one day last week, she mentioned that her husband, bryan, who owns traditions health care and hospice may be looking for a volunteer coordinator (idea). so, thursday i walk into the store mid-day to pick up some more deliveries to take out and this is what happened...

*melany is on the phone with bryan*
melany: hey abby, bryan wants to know if you want the job
abby: um....yes.
melany: *laughter* do you need to talk to your husband?
abby: i mean, i told him about the possibility (memo to audience: he was elated), he'll say yes
melany: bryan, she says she wants it....abby, he says you're a college graduate now so you have to tell him how much you think you should make
abby: ...maybe i will talk to jared
melany: *more laughter* does x-x amount sound right to you?
abby: definitely.
melany: he asked if you can email him your resume and start january 5th
abby: definitely...is he serious?! does he know i'm leaving in may?
melany: she wants to know if you're serious, bryan, she really wants it, but she wants to know if you know she's moving in may...yeah, he's serious and he knows you're moving, he just wants you to get their volunteer program started.
abby: um, ok!
melany: yeah, you've got the job, just email him your resume.
abby: *inward happy dance* ok!

...yeah.
God is good, all the time.

i'll give you more job details as i get them, but for now just know its a dream come true.
God is more faithful than we will ever, ever have words for. praise Him with me!

less than a week.

2008-12-07T16:32:00.001-06:00

till graduation :)

hallelujah!

2008-11-09T23:44:00.001-06:00

the following is a recent post from the love146 blog:

Dear Friends,

If you have been involved in Love146, you will remember our Campaign to end trafficking on Craigslist. It has been a long road, and so many of you have been involved. Out of our efforts a coalition was formed to combat human trafficking on the Internet (End Internet Trafficking Coalition: ). We received some good news today. Jim Buckmaster, CEO of Craigslist, has been working with Attorneys General throughout the country, law enforcement, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). Craigslist will be working together to fight predators, which includes verifying phone numbers, and charging the "erotic services" category. 100% of profits from this will be contributed to charity. An external accounting firm will be retained to track the details. Craigslist will not profit from this. For more info. visit Craigslist blog at:
Thank you for taking action!
Together we made a difference.
Be Proud.
Keep Fighting.

Desirea

here is the info straight from craig's list
http://blog.craigslist.org/

praise the Lord!

"The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he." - Deuteronomy 32:4

our God saves.

heaven to earth.

2008-11-07T12:24:00.004-06:00

when i was an impact co-chair a few years ago, our t-shirts had a quote on them that said this:

"Because with every decision, conversation, gesture, comment, action, and attitude, we're inviting heaven or hell to earth."
-- Rob Bell (this is from his book Sex God which i highly recommend.)

1000 Wells TAMU exists as a part of Blood:Water Mission - an organization seeking to build clean water wells in Africa in order to reduce the horrors of the ongoing HIV/AIDS crisis. starting Monday, students will be asked to give up all beverages except water for 2 weeks and donate the money they would have spent to the cause. this year, they'll be kicking the 2 weeks off with a free derek webb concert at fbc bryan on sunday at 7:30.

i'd say that's bringing some heaven to earth. and i'd say Jesus cares a lot about heaven and earth.

the battalion (A&M's student newspaper), featured an article about 1000 Wells yesterday if you want some more insight.

join us!

be careful, believer.

2008-11-03T09:40:00.005-06:00

there are a lot of facebook statuses and overheard conversations i've encountered recently about people being "scared" about the election, fearful for our country, likening political candidates to figures such as....Satan.

be careful, believer. be careful.

For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him. - Col 1:16

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work - Titus 3:1.

i am not telling you to not pray for our country, to not pray for godly decision making, to not stand up for what you believe. but as a follower of Jesus Christ - you are called to submit to the authorities He has put in place. He has put in place. God is in control. our perspectives are very narrow, very small. God has gone before, behind, and with us into all of time.

stop being disrespectful. stop thinking you know everything.

do what you can (i.e. vote according to the convictions God has placed on your life) in faith and let God be God.

and stop slandering people. now.

watch the election tomorrow night in faith that whoever becomes the next ruler of our nation God has placed there for a reason. "be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution" (1 peter).

do not be afraid, believer, do not be afraid.

"the Lord your God is with you" and He longs for your eyes to be fixed on Him, on eternity. "be anxious for nothing." He is in control.

God establishes governments to maintain some level of order in a broken world - not to fix anything, not to play god.

let's stop believing that God for a millisecond can stop being God. let's recognize that if Jesus Christ ceased thinking of us for a moment - life would end. "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together."

do not be afraid.

are your thoughts results of static cling?

2008-10-25T14:47:00.003-05:00

a whole month since i've posted?

i didn't want to be "that blogger."

"those bloggers" bug me - why have a blog and not blog, blogger?

sometimes life just gets a little crazy, or maybe its that it gets so uncrazy - so "nothing's really going on"ish - that you're not too sure what to write. i think that's where i am at the moment. life is sweet, moving quickly, approaching with more adulthood and decision making in every breath i take, it seems, but nothing is so concrete or palpable that i feel i can blog about it. i would love to have that little creative flare that seems to enable some to blog a quote or story or craft or project and explore a little depth without attempting to establish a new theory or save the world or anything of that sort, and perhaps i will someday. but, for now, i find it an immense challenge to write without swinging between scratching no surface at all and sticking my hand deep into my soul and tossing whatever i find onto the page. we'll see if the middle comes.

i just read a book called "my sister's keeper" by jodi picoult. excellent. you'll want to read it in about 2 days because of the subject matter - you just have to know what happens. i love that.

we're going to see jason mraz in houston tonight, one of our favorite musicians who actually inspired the name of my blog. so, for today i write and read and tonight "we sing, we dance." enjoy your saturday.

quest...ing.

2008-09-25T14:44:00.003-05:00

i knew this would happen.

as soon i say i'm going to start "planning" to write about something, i kinda spaz out inside and say to myself "self, you will never begin to scratch the surface of said plan, so just...go erase that 'getting there' post and give yourself a break, put up some more wedding pictures or something..."

then the little overachiever self says, "now self, you really do want to write this post. you really do want to expound brilliantly on some profound discovery of spirituality, rhetoric, creativity, whatever it may be. push yourself, get there, accomplish, accomplish, accomplish."

so, here i sit, potentially schizophrenic, most likely just an extremist wallowing through the mire of "finding balance" and hearing this little voice from somewhere saying - just love Jesus and quit worrying about all this nothingness.

great idea.

oh, and it's not really a little voice -there's a great example of not having a very good grasp on reverence.

regardless of whatever everything i just wrote meant here's a few thoughts on what i don't think reverence for God looks like...

- i don't think it means cleaning up your actions for the sake of cleaning up your actions, having a sterlized vocabulary, swearing off the bubbly, or any other list controlled type living
- i'm also pretty sure it doesn't mean scoffing at anyone who chooses to do any of the above.

and therein lies the prob....i mean paradox. it's really not a problem, it's fantastic and full of freedom (alliterate much?). and come to think of it, it's not much of a paradox either - really it's a rather simple rhythm of life God set up that we decided we would complicate.

a prime example: gossip.

(i am not about to stand on a soapbox, promise.)

let's just think about what we say about people. let's not become obsessed with phrasing things in such a way that we then don't feel guilty for what we just said when in reality we said "that person really kind of makes me insane and/or represents all that is liscentious/legalistic/lame to me." don't know what i mean? little things like - "i really shouldn't say this, but" or asking inappropriate questions then following them up by - "that was probably kinda rude" or "this really isn't any of my business, but..."

c'mon now.

am i saying we shouldn't have honest, real, potentially less than pristine conversation?

...do you know me?

clearly, i'm not.

what i am saying is this - "let no unwholesome speech come from your mouth"

let's just think about what that means. let's stop thinking that cussing is any worse/less holy than slandering a brother or sister or discussing matters that aren't ours to discuss.

"to everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time to every purpose under heaven" (i know that's a verse. its also a great song from the big chill soundtrack i grew up on)

in my world, there is next to nothing that "should never" be discussed. just last night i told my high school senior girls that i wanted to represent a safe place for them to talk about things/struggles/desires they may feel insane for having. how else will we cultivate community, joy, gladness, comfort, compassion, reality?

...but, there is a time and a purpose.

this is why we need our inner few friends. this is why we need our big circles. this is why we need older people to tell us about life, and younger people to help along the way. this is why we need all these relational dynamics we engage in - because there is a time and purpose for everything under heaven. let's have the reverence for the Lord who created those times and purposes by living in such a way that we honor those creations.

lastly, i am in absolutely no way saying that you shouldn't ever break the mold in how conversation in certain circles of your life usually goes. i'm just saying there's a difference between honesty and speech for the sake of attention and/or filling the silence.

i am guilty of all of the above and more so really, there's no reason to think i'm preaching here. i'm hoping for renewal in this area of my life as well as in other's lives because i think it will change the way we interact and are perceived.

i would love thoughts/disagreements/additions on anything i've said here. really, really.

getting there.

2008-09-17T18:29:00.004-05:00

currently praying about a post regarding what reverence for the Lord looks like in day to day life. may take a little while for me to pray up the humility, softness, and bold spirit to write it well, so that's where i'll be if i don't write for a while.

rain, rain, please stay.

2008-09-13T11:38:00.003-05:00

...and come again another day.

i enjoy this. i love that we have to be at home (or, in this case, parent's home) and play games, fortunately for us still holding onto the power people - watch movies, and just not have the option or obligation to get in the car and drive somewhere. times like this remind me of how important it is that my soul finds rest in God alone, because, at least for us, a "restful" (seems odd to say during a hurricane...) time like this is so rare. i am grateful that Jesus can bring peace to my soul during a hurricane, during the quietness of a safe house amidst the hurricane, and during the hustle and bustle of normal, sun, school, and social filled life.

i hope you all are safe, dry, and not too wind blown. enjoy the "quiet."

the eyes of my heart enlightened.

2008-08-27T08:31:00.009-05:00

I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction,
out of the miry clay;
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
And He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear, And will trust in the LORD.
How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.
Psalm 40:1-4

How sweet is the "new song" in my mouth recently.

For me, college has been a time of great wonder, joy, and excitement. It has also been a time of great searching, confusion, and, at times, the lowest points of my life thus far. I have struggled with Who God is, struggled with struggling with Who God is, and struggled with trying to read, pray, and talk through struggling with Who God is. I can't say I have always been patient in the struggle, as the verses above can claim, but I can say I have had a Jesus Who has refused to let me go and, for some reason, has chosen this past week to...as words pitifully attempt to describe...burst through several clouds in my mind this past week.

There really is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Really.
My attempts to "be like Jesus" are exceptionally futile if I am not relying fully on the power of Christ.
The Bible is a story about God - and when I am enabled to view it that way....freedom.
(I have said all of these things before and I can't really explain how true and real they are now resonating inside me. I think something has transferred from my head to my heart....)

"I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation,
but I bought the lie I still have work to do.
Now I'm working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation,
but there is no condemnation in You.

...child, you're forgiven and loved."
- Jimmy Needham

OH! I am forgiven and loved. How many times have these words emerged from my mouth? How many times have a prayed with a minuscule dab of faith that maybe they could be true for me? Now I know.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a dear friend, who has experienced many of the same sweet characteristics of the Lord as well. We were able to truly rejoice in His goodness and find awe in the fact that the most, if anything, we ever really did was beg Him to draw near and rebuild whatever needed rebuilding. He cannot help but be faithful.

I pray you read this post for what it is. For joy and grace and the ever constant work of the Lord Jesus Christ in the hearts of His people, and even in those yet to be His. I pray you read this and see the greatness of Christ and are encouraged in your faith that He is always there, He really is always there. He is nothing like us, but we are a little like Him - and we can grow in that likeness every day by His mercy alone. Really, alone, you can not do it. Draw near to the presence of the Lord - He will draw near to you in His own sweet timing and purpose. I can promise you - I have tasted and seen and now I crave with all that I am..

a helpful hint as school begins.

2008-08-17T15:40:00.004-05:00

my dear friend lindsay let me know about a website that you can rent your textbooks from at a very reduced price and simply return them at the end of the semester. and! whenever you rent a book, they plant a tree in a foreign country - mine is in guatemala :). so, there's a neat way to save some money and be green i suppose. enjoy your sunday.

hoping for what i do not see.

2008-08-12T09:09:00.006-05:00

For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace - Romans 8:5-6.

two summers ago, while working at pine cove, i memorized romans 8 for a few reasons, one of them so that i could "set my mind on the things of the...Spirit" while living in a very constant, busy environment. i reread this chapter for the first time in a while this morning, and it brought so many truths to mind. i encourage you to read it and see what you are taught or reminded of once more. i am reminded so often, though perhaps not often enough, through scripture of who i am in Christ Jesus - today, a conquerer of my mind by the grace of God.

a little more substance.

2008-08-06T16:59:00.004-05:00

so, today i started my job at Tricia Barksdale Designs and just love it to pieces. i processed a box of flowers she is using for a wedding this weekend...removed the leaves, cut the stems, etc. sounds boring probably but it really was anything other than boring. i spent 3.5 hours doing that and talking and learning flower names and how to take care of them and it was just so peachy. i hope i keep enjoying it this much and learning this much! its such a blessing to get to work somewhere that i enjoy.

i got some books yesterday! the shack, vintage Jesus, and an anthology kind of book with C.S. Lewis' 7 most read books. i'm really excited about all of them. i know the shack is controversial and i understand why, but i want to read it before i have an opinion about it, and i think sometimes its okay to read something and glean from it the goodness and leave the rest behind. we'll see :).

also (i'm about to go mega-wife here) i'm in the market for some new recipes. you know those times when food just seems boring? i'm in one of them. any good (not too complicated) ideas?

mid afternoon snack.

2008-08-06T14:51:00.001-05:00

...i love my job.

now i have to go take a final.

but i just had to say, i love my job.

more to come on why :).

flower power.

2008-08-05T12:07:00.004-05:00

today i took a job working with Trish Barksdale, my florist from our wedding. she is bringing her flower shop back to College Station from Martha's Bloomers in Navasota and needs someone to help her with marketing and little things so she has time to design and create - something she is incredible at doing. i'm so, so grateful and excited! i loved working with her designing things for the wedding and i can't wait to get to know her better, work in a cute little shop (which shares a building with Baskets of the Brazos - who i will likely get to do some work for as well!), and get to know some things about marketing, retail, and flowers. God is so faithful.

here is some of trish's work from our wedding:

still searching.

2008-08-03T13:35:00.004-05:00

here is a banner i found on www.stopthetraffik.org - a website i encourage you to check out. you can copy and paste the code onto myspace, facebook, blogs, etc.

in other news, last night jared and i went to see john mayer and colbie callait in the woodlands. holy mackerel. i had no idea john mayer was such a musician (as opposed to just a guy with a good voice). he is truly amazing and we had such a great time.

music is really good for us.

see?

frenzy.

2008-08-02T16:02:00.005-05:00

i've been reading like crazy.

i finished "the time traveler's wife" while jared was out of town. it made me imagine that he wasn't on a business trip, he was time traveling and would come back to tell me about his adventure, or visiting me when i was 12, or something like that. it was kinda fun :). great book but just, well, be aware of adult content.

also read "at first sight" by nicholas sparks. the quality of the language/writing wasn't as impeccable as time traveler, but it was still a good read. definitely a surprise ending that many may not like, i'm not sure that i do. it was worth a try though.

now i'm starting "a voice in the wind" by francine rivers, the first of the "mark of the lion" series. i've been hearing left and right and up and down that i should read these books for about three years so, here i go!

we're heading to a colbie callait/john mayer concert tonight. really excited, here we go!

be cool.

to taste and to see.

2008-07-30T08:26:00.007-05:00

i haven't really felt like posting while jared has been out of town. i have no idea what that means - i thought i would post a lot because of my extra alone time, which generally equals thought time, but this week (as so many others) hasn't gone exactly according to plan.

yesterday, for example, i went to my step class (i know, i know) not feeling well but we had a paper to turn in, so i went. we started doing step to some really dreadful techno beats and, well, in the end our music started skipping, the teacher couldn't find a new cd, and we did yoga instead! little weird things like that.

because of not feeling well, i missed my second class and a meeting, which is okay but being homebound without the hub was a little boring. its strange how quickly i've latched on to the idea of him being around so much - i love it, and i don't think its wrong at all, but it makes me think about us as people.

which makes me think about something i read in Tozer's The Pursuit of God this week. we are studying that book with our high school senior girls at church (some of my newest very favorite people), and this week we read chapter four called Apprehending God. In it, is a quote that says "[millions of Christians] go through life trying to love an ideal and be loyal to a mere principle." its so true. how often do i put God into a little picture frame in my mind (in which i constantly am changing the picture)? or how often do i compose a new law for myself?

so, how does this relate to my near instant jared-at-home-addiction? i long to know him! i am not content to merely have an idea in my head of who jared should be (who i could make him to be, who i imagine him to be, etc) , nor am i content to subscribe my life away to "a mere principle" - my idea of who i should be as a wife (my fantasies of being the perfect racheal ray/martha stewart/betty crocker combo - oh come on you have them too). no! in the depths of my soul, i want to know jared. i want to be as content in the unexpected as the expected. i want to find out what's really inside him, how he really thinks, feels. i want to support him 100% regardless of how i would have scripted every moment to turn out.

yet, i am frequently more than happy to do this with God??? yeah, i am.

(disclaimer: i am the antithesis of blogging to expose my extreme spirituality, awesomeness as a wife, etc. at least i hope i am. i am writing because it frees my soul in a way few things do and i think it brings God glory when He sees his kids experimenting, experiencing, and excited.)

my hope today is that i will see God as He is to the greatest extent that i can. my hope today is that i will recognize that i am, in the depths of my soul, no more content to hold onto an ideal of God than i would be an ideal of jared - yet i try to convince myself otherwise so often. my hope today is that i will rest in knowing that He will reveal Himself to those who love Him, and while resting to actively pursue a deeper communion with Him than i knew possible. my hope today is that i will not be content with an "ideal" or "mere principle" - but only with the Jesus who has brought me abundant life.

may the Kingdom of God be our "carefully chosen goal and the object of our holiest longing"
-Tozer.

a quiet day.

2008-07-26T14:52:00.011-05:00

today, jared is at buffalo wild wings drafting his fantasy football team for the afternoon (don't judge).

so, i'm at home this afternoon enjoying some alone time that isn't consumed with homework or thoughts of what i 'should' be doing. its lovely. i started reading "the divine conspiracy" by dallas willard today, which wasn't on my list, i know, but i didn't realize we owned it and when i saw it on our bookshelf i remembered how wonderful i've heard it is and picked it up. i'm just at the very beginning of chapter one, but even the forward by richar d foster and the introduction are extremely thought provoking and challenging. his goal is to help us recall, or discover, the real, touchable yet completely unlike us-ness of Christ. i'm excited to continue journeying with this book and, so far, encourage you to check it out some time.

enjoy your day and search for some healthy quiet this week.
sometimes i miss our wedding, so i thought i'd share a little more of it with you today through this picture. speaking of weddings, we went to one last night for our friends neal and rachel. it was beautiful, and for the recessional they had a slideshow full of pictures of other "happy ever afters" they know. this picture of ours made it!

wanting to read.

2008-07-23T09:33:00.008-05:00

school is rather dominant presence in my life right now, but soon i will have a few weeks off between semesters and want to fill them with some good books :). i have a list already:

The Time Traveler's Wife (started on the honeymoon...still not finished. but its good!)
(^This title makes me think of The Memory Keeper's Daughter - read it!^)
The Mark of the Lion series - Francine Rivers
The Cost of Discipleship - Bonhoeffer
A Circle of Quiet - Madeline L'Engle

Not that those won't keep me busy for a while, but I'd love more suggestions!

Enjoy your day and these flowers from a beautiful Irish garden I visited last summer.

beautiful things that spring from these rows....

...with their musical names and musical sounds..." - eisley.

don't forget to play a little today.

digging.

2008-07-21T10:44:00.005-05:00

www.love146.org has many insightful facts and statistics to help create a foundation for understanding the reality of modern human slavery. If you then desire to dig deeper into the issue I invite you to join me in reading:

International Labour Office Report 2005
Trafficking In Persons Report 2008
(these take a while to download)

These facts are not for the faint of heart. I pray as I read them, and for you as well should you join me, that your hope for yourself and these victims will rest in the Lord and not the fallen state of mankind. God sees these people. Maybe He desires you to be a part of bringing them freedom. But you are not the answer to their problems, salvation found in Jesus Christ is the answer. I say this in hopes that you will come alongside me in learning about the patterns of human slavery and what we can do to be a part of furthering the Kingdom of heaven, which is already at hand, on earth. Jesus is their only hope - if you are living life with Jesus, you know what I mean. Maybe we can show them Jesus.

a little dizzy.

2008-07-18T16:12:00.000-05:00

this is how my head is feeling as i've begun just a preliminary investigation into thoughts about Jesus and justice and what that means for us who are believers. i'm enjoying it, don't get me wrong, but there are lots of opinions and ideas and i just want to...sift, i suppose. but i am searching :).

"what about taking this empty cup and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence?" - jason mraz

that song has been coming to mind a lot when i've thought about the unjust actions being done to these little girls that love146 is seeking to love on. please visit their website at www.love146.org. if it stirs your heart and you think it may be something you'd like to get involved in, talk to me. i know Jesus wants me involved and i'd love partners. jared and i bought the resources and want to have a dvd showing at our house this fall...

kindling.

2008-07-14T09:57:00.000-05:00

Jesus cares about justice.
And He keeps reminding me of that. Its time for me to dig into the Word and discover God's thoughts on justice, and pray that He'll reveal to me what that means in my own life.

preliminary thoughts :
We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is— Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. - Oswald Chambers

This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. - James 1:27

Love protects. Love defends. Love restores. Love empowers. - Love146

...more to come when I don't have a test in 2 hours. Any thoughts, scripture, or avenues to consider are more than welcome!

a few of my favorite things.

2008-07-12T11:17:00.001-05:00

This is my husband, Jared,
and I on our wedding day -
May 31, 2008. It was
absolutely perfect. I'll
probably reference it
a lot - and I can promise
I'll reference Jared a lot.
He works for A&M right
now and our hope is to go to
Ireland someday and help
people know Jesus.
(photo courtesy of danielcolvinphotography)

This is my family (and another wedding picture - you should probably plan on seeing a lot of them :). Hillary, my middle sister, will be a sophomore at A&M and Olivia, my youngest sister, will be a junior in high school. My mom, Val, is the executive director of His Grace Foundation and Dad, Buck, is a pastor at Grace Bible. They live in College Station now, too. I love it. They love having anyone over and its really kind of the Lord to have them living in the same town as Jared and I for a while. We're really blessed by them.
(photo courtesy of danielcolvinphotography)

I thought through writing about some friends and putting up pictures, but I wouldn't really know how to do that. They'll come up through my postings, don't worry. You've already heard about Hillary, Olivia, and Lindsay - they're a fabulous place to start :).

This is Ireland. I went there last summer. Jared and I are going back in Summer 2009, should everything go along with what we've mapped out in our minds :). God has given us a special heart for this beautiful country and its people - we're excited to see where He continues leading. Right now, He has us serving at Grace Bible alongside high school seniors who we adore. They're teaching us a lot about Jesus that I know will help us love others in the future.

I like books, movies, Lost, and oh so much music. Plenty to come on all of the above and more :).
I love Jesus with everything I have- or at least that's what I'm seeking to do. "He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay; And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm." - Psalm 40:2. I don't know what else to do with myself but love Him.

fresh.

2008-07-12T09:46:00.001-05:00

i've decided to start a new blog.

i spent time with a dear friend last night (Lindsay - facingglory.blogspot.com) and we were talking about why we do or don't write at different time's in our lives. it inspired me to try again after quite a long silence both in my own journal and on the world wide web. we'll see what happens. maybe i'll write a lot, i hope so, but maybe not.

i explained to lindsay that i don't want to use blogging to rant or make statements i wouldn't make face to face with someone. i don't want to project an image of someone i'm not. but i do want to imagine, explore, be creative. so maybe i'll discover a little more about Jesus and myself by writing, and change through that, that would be great. but i'm not going to be fake or pretend to be something i'm not. just explore and dig, that's all.

jared helped me come up with the name for this blog - wesingwedance. it's taken from the title of jason mraz' most recent album (we steal. we dance. we steal things.), which we highly recommend and is playing as i type. i'll probably talk a good bit about music.

enjoy your weekend.